I’m tired. I hear 5 months of toxic treatments can do that to you. It blows my mind to think that we have been dealing with chemo since September, for as long as Wyatt has been on this earth. And even though I have technically had my last treatment, I’m still feeling the side effects of last week’s dose. The accumulation is gnarly. I can still taste the chemo in my throat. I can still smell it. I’m achy and exhausted. But each day it gets a little bit better.
I’ve been having a hard time drinking enough fluids because everything tastes gross and I think it’s contributing to muscle cramps and fatigue. It doesn’t help that I’ve been laying in my bed for the last 4 days. Being curled up in the fetal position for that long can really cause some achy muscles. Even my bubble baths aren’t really helping. So today I forced my self to get up and go to yoga and I’m glad I did.
It’s a healing class I’ve been going to, super mellow but I couldn’t even get through the whole thing today. I had to sit down because apparently putting my arms over my head was just too much and I got dizzy. My teacher is amazing though. She helps me with modifications each week and gives me overall support. Like mental support. Because, guys, I need it. I truly needed her her class today, even if it was just me sitting there, taking in everyone else’s positive energy.
I have been feeling like now that chemo is complete, I really need to take my healing into my own hands. Do not worry, I am not giving up on western medicine. I just want to be sure that I am doing all things possible to beat this. And I like having some of the control… where I can.
I am going to make more ‘me’ time to lower stress levels. This may be a stricter yoga practice, more baths, more leisurely reading. Whatever I feel that my body and soul need.
In terms of my diet, I have already cut out red meat and I’ll be sticking with that. I have reduced my dairy intake a TON which I never thought I could do. And I’ll be working on cutting it out completely. I’ve admitted in the past, treats are my weakness. I’ve have been doing pretty well with not eating refined sugar but I need to get way serious.
So….wish me luck. Sugar is like the fucking Devil man.