Category: Survivor Stories

My Friend Dana

.Reading time 11 minutes.
I met Dana at a meet up in San Diego for her resort wear collection.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats:
I am a thriver…meaning I am currently living with breast cancer. I was originally diagnosed in 2011 with Stage III breast cancer. I had my right breast removed without reconstruction. After six months of intense chemo and radiation to follow, I would find the cancer would return in my clavicle area. The doctors did not want to surgically remove the tumors because they were next to nerves that would make me lose the ability to use my arm. The only option was chemo. I did three months of chemo followed by radiation to my neck. The cancer would disappear. I then got to live close to four years enjoying my life. The cancer would return in my neck yet again and since then I have been on and off from treatments. The cancer goes away then when I stop treatment, it grows back within months. The doctors do not quite understand my breast cancer as it always seems to grow back in my neck. I say it is good to not be normal in this case.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I love living! I used to be very very very type A and everything had to be planned and done a certain way. I still have the same tendencies but I now relax and know that not everything is going to go the way I plan. That is ok…most of the time. I like to be a mom to my son and in my free time I like to ride horses and sew for my resortwear collection Hulabelle.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
I was in shock and did not believe it at first. I honestly waited for the doctor to say it was a mistake. I then moved on to grief and feeling like I was going to die. I couldn’t make any plans and I stopped living for a bit.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I have grown up with a very deep seeded faith. I keep close to it and know that I don’t have to try to control things and it alleviates the stress. I also love to create and that takes my mind off of the reality of my situation, it is an escape.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
I have experienced both in some ways…there have been some major disappointments but I have always had support from my husband. He works so hard and then he does whatever he can to help me, if that means taking a day off to sit with me at chemo or driving up to LA to get a second opinion. I feel very fortunate.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I actually have a a close friend of mine who had to undergo chemo while pregnant with her daughter. She was the only mom in the labor and delivery unit with a bald head. Her daughter is now six and very healthy and active. It is a surprise to many but it can be done at a certain stage in the pregnancy.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I am stronger than I thought I was and that I can get through each process.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
That life goes back to ‘normal’ when ‘finished’ and there is not going back to things, oh how I wish there was somedays but I have kinda forgotten that person from before. Also there is no pink ribbon finish line for us, we have to keep worrying, keep having our check ups and scans. It is a constant reminder.
Thoughts on the pink… 
Please donate to the three following places: METAVIVOR; Living Beyond Breast Cancer; Haus of Volta. These are all very stand up organizations and they won’t drown you in pink.
Where are you at in life now?  Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I am all grown up from my original diagnosis I feel…I used to be so scared and depressed. I now realize life keeps moving with or without me so I have decided to keep going. I like to travel and try to do things I normally would set aside before. Also that, yes death is inevitable, it is for all of us so why fear it..enjoy this ride and then when it is time to move on then it is time.
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?
Yes, chemo brain is real and I forget things quite easily. It is quite frustrating and sometimes people who don’t understand, think there must be something wrong with me.
Have you noticed any lasting effects on your families and friends?
I think my family and friends all want to see me move forward with life even with the understanding that I am not necessarily cured. They try to encourage me to live. I think my son I am most concerned about. He is 7 and he has had to deal with this since he was only 10 months old. He would like for me to be like the other moms, such as not losing my hair or unable to take him places during treatment. Yet he has also learned some things about life many of his peers may not see or understand until they are adults.
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
Enjoy this life! Enjoy your energy, don’t take your body for granted!
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I am passionate about living and being with my family. I cherish the outings we do and the funny conversations we may have. I am very passionate about helping others too. I want women in the future generations to not feel as if they are not being heard. I want them to know they have a huge support system. It is a sister hood.
Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?
I am currently in chemo and hope it will shrink my tumor once again in my neck. This time I do get the option of surgery as the tumor is in a different spot. I hope to be able to remove the lymph nodes in my neck. The long term goals are to live my life, enjoy my family, keep creating collections that will be well received everywhere and acknowledged as something to help women.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
Yes, look for the silver lining…it is always there and it shines bright! My favorite curse work is the ‘F’ word which may surprise some…it is very useful in getting negative energy out!
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
I hope my son remembers me. I hope he takes the Daily lessons that I have taught him and uses them to his benefit in the future. I hope he goes on to help others and be compassionate towards all people.
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
Getting the confirmation it was cancer and in the next room my son was waking up from his nap. I didn’t want to see him, I felt like I had let him down. It was a very dark moment for me.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now?
I love Instagram and so if anyone wants to chat or see what is happening, check it out @hulabelleresortwear and I also have a blog that I just dropped and it is called daycurve.wordpress.com
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
You can face your darkest moments and say I am going to keep going and enjoy my life. I can get through this, moment by moment and it too shall pass.
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My Friend Jenn

.Reading time 7 minutes.
I met Jenn through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats:
I was 34 at diagnosis, stage 3C IDC with 21 lymph nodes positive. I was a full time Hairstylist and had a 4 year old daughter! We had been trying to get pregnant with #2. For a year before diagnosis I had felt a lump, it only really bothered me during my period, until I got pregnant then the pain was unbearable. Went in to my OB office and saw someone other then my ob, she thought it was hormone related due to pregnancy. I was not convinced. I had been pregnant before and this wasn’t the same. Oddly enough that morning before going in I kind of had a gut feeling it wasn’t good.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I am a wife, mother and hairstylist! Unfortunately with all the lymph nodes I had removed, doing hair isn’t in the cards right now. I stay home with my 15 month old chemo baby Riley Joy! I sell Younique makeup for fun as I love makeup! I’m spending time making memories with my girls!
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
Am I going to be able to keep this baby? I don’t want to die! This isn’t fair! Why me? Hadn’t I had enough!??!!
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
Honestly having a good cry! I have since turned to God. Praying has really helped heal me. I have this amazing support group of Cancer mamas that are there when I need a pick me up! These ladies help more then can even imagine! They get me and what I went/am going through.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
My family and friends have been great! Well, of course you lose a few along the way. My sister in law came to most all of my chemo’s with me. My friends set up meal trains and play dates for Sophia.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I was one of those people before diagnosis. I still didn’t know until I met with my High Risk OB, she looked at me and said “if you were my sister I would tell you to continue your pregnancy and we can do chemo in the second trimester. Knowing there were some risks with doing chemo while pregnant we decided we were going to continue with the pregnancy and I was going to fight like hell! I found my amazing KACM group and I knew if I had them in my corner with my husband, then I was going to beat this!
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I am a heck of a lot stronger than I thought I could ever be. Life is so short, there is no reason you can’t do anything that you put your mind to! I never thought I would be informing young women about Breast Cancer, but if it is my path then I will travel it as far as I can!
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
That it had to be hereditary. I did the genetic testing and I don’t have the genes.
Thoughts on the pink… 
Before diagnosis, I always bought pink for Breast Cancer, thinking I was making a difference! Little did I know that the organization I was donating to in fact did not actually give money or any help to women battling breast cancer. Donate to metavivor.org or the American Cancer Society.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I now stay home full time with my girls. Everyday is different, some days I wake up and can get out of bed without pain, some days I can’t get out of bed due to the pain. Pain being from the anti hormone drugs I am on for the next 5 years and menopause as I had my ovaries removed also. I go to a therapist at least every other week for my mental health.
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?
My joints ache everyday, but I am actually taking CBD capsules and that has been helping!
Have you noticed any lasting effects on your families and friends?
My family thinks I should just go back to the person I was before diagnosis. However that is not realistic. I am forever changed, I no longer worry about big things, I worry about little things! Is this headache cancer, is this back pain cancer?
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
Honestly hate thinking about this but that I lived life and loved as hard as I could! I made them smile! 🙂
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
Know your body! Advocate if you feel something isn’t right!

My Friend Tabbitha

.Reading time 15 minutes.
I met Tabitha through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats: 
I was 34 years old and had just had my daughter earlier that year. She was 4 months old and I was breastfeeding. It was such an exciting time of our lives, we had not planned to have my daughter and I actually thought we were done having kids, we had our son who was 5 years old at the time. When we found out we were pregnant it was such a surprise and we were so happy! I was the healthiest I had been in my life since I was a teenager, at this point. I was rock climbing, doing yoga, working out, eating healthy and feeling great! The two years before I got pregnant with my daughter I had lost about 90 pounds and was maintaining it by just eating healthy and working out, so I was feeling amazing!
When I first felt the lump in my left breast, I thought it was a clogged milk duct since I was breastfeeding. The lump did not hurt, it was just there, so I tried all the normal things you do for a clogged milk duct because I did not want to get mastitis. A month before this happened, my sister was breastfeeding and had gotten mastitis really bad and it looked so painful so I did not want this to happen to me! After about a month of this lump not going away, not moving, not hurting I started to get worried that this was not mastitis and decided to go to my OB for her to check it out. She got me an appointment right away that same week and when she felt it she said she did not like how it felt and wanted me to get an ultrasound. I waited about three weeks before I could get into the ultrasound, they were very booked. While doing the ultrasound the MD didn’t like how it looked so they gave me a mammogram that same day and then scheduled me for a biopsy. I had to wait two weeks before I could get in for the biopsy but I did it and then waited. It was right before Labor Day, the biopsy was August 30, 2017 so I had to wait the long weekend for the results and it was the longest weekend of my life. I was so scared for those results!
We went to Tahoe for the weekend and was with family so that helped keep my mind off the biopsy. Tuesday morning I went back to work, it was September 6, 2017 and I will never forget what would happen next. I got a phone call and it was a phone number I did not know, I usually don’t answer those due to telemarketers but I knew I was waiting for my biopsy results so I went into the break room and answered. It was my MD, she was calling me personally from her cell phone because she was on vacation and was not going to be back for two weeks and didn’t want me to wait that long to give me my results. When she told me it came back positive for breast cancer my heart sank, I was silent, I couldn’t even move. Here I am with a 5 year old son, a 5 month old baby girl and finding out I have breast cancer at 34 years old, I was devastated. All I did was cry. I was so surprised, to my knowledge at this point, breast cancer did not run in my family and no one I knew had any kind of cancer.
Since the results came back triple negative and I was so young, they wanted to do the genetic testing to see if I had any of the hereditary cancer genes. I was sure in my head I did not have any of these and was not at risk and boy was I wrong. That test came back as being positive for the BRCA 1 gene mutation and I was once again so shocked I did not know how to react. I was so surprised. And so this cascaded a chain of events over the next year, lumpectomy, chemotherapy, bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction, radiation and now I have my full hysterectomy scheduled for December 2018.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I am a quiet person, I love being outside and in nature. I went to school to become a geologist and love rocks and the earth! I enjoy rock climbing, hiking, camping, yoga, kayaking and canoeing, being at the beach (the ocean is my second home). I come from a big family I am the oldest of 9 children but only 6 of us lived together growing up. I love hanging out with my friends and family and just being around all the people I love. My husband is my rock, my best friend and means so much to me! We literally grew up together. We started dating when we were 16 years old and got married when we were 20 years. Jan 2019 we will be celebrating our 15 year anniversary. My kids are everything to me and I would do anything for them. I love watching them grow and helping them become the wonderful little human beings there are. My favorite colors are all shades of blues, purples and greens and I love flowers! I believe in Jesus and Love!! Love is the most important thing in my eyes and we should all just try to love each other and be there for each other as much as we can.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
That I didn’t want to die. That I wanted to watch my kids grow up and be there for them and I was so scared I would miss out on them.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
Prayer, when things were really bad all I could do was just pray and try to stay positive. I wanted to try meditation but I still haven’t tried it LOL. I think that would really help, maybe I will try it this year!
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
I was so blessed to have such a great support system. I don’t have much family here, only my sister but I have all of my husband’s family and they are just like my family. They have always loved me and been there for me as I was their own and it means the world to me to have them by my side. It makes me stronger. Through all of this, they have always been right there for me, watching my kids, taking care of me after chemo appointments, taking me to all my appointments and being there with me, getting us anything we need, feeding us and just supporting us. They have always been there for us but dropped everything to come to our aid after my cancer diagnosis, which was such a blessing! We could not have gotten through all of the cancer treatment without them!
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
I would like everyone to know that once you are diagnosed with cancer, it’s a life long thing. Even after treatments and the cancer has been removed and no new cancer has shown up it doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. It doesn’t mean my cancer battle is over. It’s something I will have to live with for the rest of my life…the chance it could come back or a new cancer can develop will always be there in the back of my mind. I have to learn to cope and deal with that and learn to live with that forever. It actually makes me sad when people say “Oh you beat cancer, it’s over” because it’s not, it’s just over for now which is ok but it’s never gone.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
Currently I am trying to get back into really living my life and not letting this fear of cancer overtake me. I get depressed and sad more easily now and some days I will just be so sad and not even know why so I am trying to get over that mentally. I also deal with severe anxiety now and this is totally new for me because I have never had experienced anxiety like this in the past. My heart was damaged a little with the chemo and radiation so now I go in and out of A-Fib, my MD’s are hoping the more I get back into working out and strengthening, that this will correct itself and that my heart is not damaged forever, so we shall see. I am back to work and back to going to my kids school events and really being a part of their lives which is so amazing and is helping me get out of this funk I have been in since my cancer diagnosis. I am just trying to teach myself new coping skills so I can try and get back to my old self. I am still pretty weak from my bilateral mastectomy, my chest muscles are still underdeveloped and sore. I have not gotten my full range of motion back but am working on it. All in all, I do feel so lucky to be here and want to make the most out of my life and be with those I love!
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I am very passionate about spreading breast cancer awareness to all women, young and old! Before I was diagnosed I really thought breast cancer was something that happened to older women after 50 and that I had nothing to worry about and man was I wrong! I didn’t know young women could get breast cancer and I wish I was more aware, maybe my story would have been different if I was. I just don’t want young women to be blindsided with this like I was. And also, spreading more awareness on your options when you have breast cancer. When I found out I had to have a mastectomy, all my MD’s were just encouraging reconstruction so I thought I had to do that. I didn’t even realize staying FLAT and having no reconstruction was even an option. I had to do my own research and reach out to women who had no reconstruction to even find out about this option. So I am really passionate about that as well, I think all options need to be presented to women equally.
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
To just love yourself, love others and show them love, tell them you love them because time is precious and we are not guaranteed time in this life. Make the most of it now, in the present!