Soul Seeds // Kickstarter

Today. Is. The. D A Y !

The Soul Seeds // Affirmation Deck is officially live on Kickstarter! So what does this mean? Basically, this campaign will allow me to see how many people are truly interested in the work I’ve done. On the Kickstarter page, there are several ways for people to help support and fund the project and it’s also a way to “pre-order” the deck. Once the project gets fully backed, I will be able to send the cards to print and that’s where it gets super exciting! All these months of hard work, learning, starting over… and over, loss of sleep (to be real, I don’t really sleep anyways), will all be worth it!

NOTE: If you choose to support this project, you will not be charged until the the end of the Kickstarter campaign, only if the the goal is met.

So, now you might be asking- “Why Affirmations?”

Positive affirmations have had a great impact on my life over the last several years.  And I’ve found that repeating positive phrases with intention and trust has ultimately helped get me out of some seriously shitty head space… losing my parents, a cancer diagnosis while pregnant, persistent anxiety… and most recently, preparing myself for a sudden appendectomy.  It wasn’t an overnight success but speaking kindly and supportively to myself eventually became natural and comforting. {As it should be, right?!)  And it turned out, all of these difficult moments became the inspiration for Soul Seeds // Affirmation Deck and created a tangible way to be able to share this inner magic with others.

Top Left: The Day Before Diagnosis, Top Right: Mid-Chemo Treatments, Bottom: Gang's All Here
Top Left: The Day Before Diagnosis, Top Right: Mid-Chemo Treatments, Bottom: Gang’s All Here

Initially, I tried to get someone else to create this deck.  It didn’t cross my mind that I would be capable of learning Photoshop & Illustrator or get past the fear of being vulnerable enough to really put myself out there.  But hell, here we are!

HOW I USE AFFIRMATIONS

I tend to write affirmations down that serve me in that moment (that moment being an hour, a day, a week, a month… whatever- you get it).  I carry them around in my purse on sticky notes, create reminders on my phone which pop up at random times, scribble them in my planner, I repeat them in my head and often use them as intentions during my yoga practice. I also love offering affirmation cards at the beginning of each yoga class I teach to remind my students just how rad each individual truly is.  Of course, there are no hard rules for positive self affirmations- only what works and feels right for you. 

SO WHAT IS A POSITIVE AFFIRMATION?

Simply put, they are positive words, phrases, and statements that are used to challenge negative thoughts.  They can motivate and boost low self-esteem or encourage an overall positive shift in your life. They can help to decrease stress and increase feelings of self worth.  Affirmations are designed to alter the beliefs we have about ourselves so that we think more positively. Personally, I truly believe that our thoughts create our actions and our actions create our reality. Because, if we’re constantly inundating ourselves with negative thoughts, we will take negative actions (or lack of action)… thus creating our reality. So just imagine the beauty that can come about from speaking kindly to ourselves.

ABOUT THE DECK

  • 52 Card Deck
  • 90mm X 90mm Square Cards
  • 400GSM {The Thickest Cardstock Offered}
  • Matte Lamination
  • Sturdy Two-Piece Storage Box

A FEW WAYS TO GET THE BEST OUT OF YOUR CARDS:

Feel It

Connection is key.  You don’t want to just grab at any affirmation. Or jack your pal’s affirmation of choice if it doesn’t really speak to you. You feel me?

Say It As If It Already Is

The most important part of this practice- at least as I believe- is that your affirmations are worded in the present- as if they/you already ‘are’.  For example, if you are wanting to channel inner strength, you would say “I am filled with strength and courage” instead of “I will be strong”. 

Short and Sweet 

Keep it short and to the point so that you’ll actually be able to remember and reference back to it.   

Let It Happen 

If you try to force it, you may resent it.  Not just affirmations… but so many things in life.  Let the practice of affirming become a natural and organic part of your day.  Trusting in the process and repeating them daily will help to reprogram your mind in a positive manner. 

Think Positive

Be specific to what you do want instead of what you don’t want.  Our subconscious tends to skip words like not, don’t, won’t. An example of this would be “I radiate positivity” instead of “I won’t be a total bitchwad today”. 

Trust

If you are pulling an affirmation card from a deck, close your eyes and take a couple of breaths.  Trust that whichever card you pull is the card that is meant for you in that moment. If a card ‘jumps out at you’ trust that you are absolutely meant to have this card.

Breathe. Affirm. Repeat.

Give yourself a moment to quiet the mind and connect with your breath.  Read or say your affirmation out loud, paying close attention to each word, how they resonate, observing any emotions or sensations that arise. 

Above are only recommendations as to how you can work with your affirmations but the truly joyous part is that YOU get to choose what works best for you!

Checkout the Kickstarter campaign here!

**This project would never have made it this far without the help of my friend Blaire. She believed in me from the very beginning (aka when I tried to convince her to make this deck) and continues to believe in me and guide me throughout this crazy creative process and project. Blaire- there are never going to be enough words for me to express my gratitude. Other than- bitches do indeed love nebulas.

***Fun Fact: The night I texted to Blaire that I thought she and another specific friend should make an affirmation deck, she immediately responded that her and said friend were actively working on an oracle deck- which turned out PHENOMENAL! You can check it out here: The Threads of Fate

Advertisements

Appendicitis

Wednesday evening, I ate dinner and immediately thought, damn, that did not sit well with me. I went on to teach yoga that night and then struggled to sleep when I got home. The abdominal pain was nuts and kept me up through the morning.

When I got to work the next day, things had not improved, so I got in to see the doctor that afternoon. She ordered a STAT CT scan and blood work… but I had to pick up the kids from school and the babysitter and take Har to soccer practice and John was out of town for work, and shit had to get done, you know?

Luckily my pal was working the front desk when I managed to sneak in to Kaiser for blood work in between pick-ups and practice. He told me that the radiology department stayed open until 9pm and if I could find a sitter before then, he’d get me in. I arranged for a babysitter to come over after practice and I ran off for a ‘quick’ CT scan.

Upon arrival, was told I’d have to drink the contrast stuff, forgetting that you have to wait 2 hours from drink to scan so I anxiously waited in the lobby with a quickly dying phone and no charger. Once the scan was completed, I had to wait for the doctor to review the report- at this point, I realized I have never wished for gas so badly in my life. But I wasn’t so lucky to just “need to rip one”. The CT showed the beginning signs of appendicitis and was told to go to the ER immediately.

Grateful for super rad in-laws, Big Har started his middle-of-the-night trek from San Diego to OC and relieved the babysitter as I settled into my hospital room. I was given pain meds and waited for the surgeon to finish up the peeps in front of me. Sometime in the morning- no clue what time it was but the sun was up- I was instantly pumped to have been waiting because they had changed over to the day shift and in walked in an OG member of the Rad Lady Posse- my breast surgeon Dr. Formichella.

I was wheeled into surgery somewhere around 9:30am, Britney Spears (obvi) blasting- we all decided on ‘Oops I Did It Again’ with all of my previous surgeries having just been discussed- and then I was OUT.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up shivering and hysterically sobbing. I kept apologizing, why? No clue. The nurse was great, gave me something to calm me down and was super comforting. She also kept reminding me to breathe, which I really appreciated because, you know, breathing is pretty important.

Eventually, I was wheeled back to my room and passed the F out. I even found out later that Big Har and the kids came to visit and I had ZERO clue. Later that evening, I was discharged and don’t remember much about being home.

Today, I’m still in pain from the surgery- it hurts to walk, talk, sit, move, yell (the kids don’t mind that last one) But thankful it was a laparoscopic procedure vs cutting me open. Fun fact: my hysterectomy was also laparoscopic and was performed two years ago today.

So, cheers to an unplanned week of ‘vacation’ where I can’t do shit. {oh man, with all these pain meds in me, I hope I can actually take a shit 😜} Though there’s always something be grateful for- at least I will have more time to work on my Affirmation Deck Kickstarter launch on the 3rd!

Thanks for all of the kind words and support!

XoXo

T H R E E YEARS!

Today marks 3 years since I got the call confirming what I already knew… And what we all now know.

What I didn’t know at that time was- What would happen to the baby growing inside of me? What would my husband and 1 year old do if something happened to me? How would I choose to handle the news? And I definitely did not comprehend how dramatically my life and outlook on life would change.  

That call obviously shook my world and the world of my family and friends.  And I often wonder if baby Wyatt could feel it too.  But after speaking with my team of doctors, my first concern was addressed.  The baby in my belly would be perfect… and he is. Sometimes a perfect pain in the keister but still perfect.

And thankfully I am still here to witness the great father John is to our little humans. And I get to see Harlon growing up to be an amazing child. AND it turns out, I handled the diagnosis and what followed pretty OK.  Of course, I had and continue to have my shit days.  And my complete shit days.  And my “I’m never leaving my bed because life isn’t fair” shit days. But I try to keep a positive outlook as often as possible (while giving myself permission to throw the occasional pity party). And I remind myself that I get to choose if I walk around miserable and mean or if I want to choose to look at the positives and radiate joy.

This way of thinking is not for everyone, I get that.  And I have never tried to push my views on life onto anyone else.  I mean, we all get to walk our own paths.  But I remember reading a quote by another survivor right after I was diagnosed which said “Breast cancer can change you, but the change can be beautiful”.  I have tried to wholeheartedly embody that idea by looking for the beauty even when it seems to be pure shit surrounding me.

I know I don’t post very often about my story anymore.  But it’s not because I am “all better” or “over it”, but it’s because I am busy living this life I’ve been blessed with, spending my time with the people I love and who spark pure joy in my heart.  This disease has taught me what is important and what is not, where I want to focus my energy and where I can let go.  I am busy with my family, teaching yoga, supporting others who’ve been diagnosed, working on projects… all with the goal to leave the world better and more joyous than I found it and to be the light for others when the darkness tries to consume them.

Truthfully, anxiety still haunts me, as it always has.  And I’m not sure if I’ll ever get past the feeling of ‘running out of time’.  But life continues to be put into perspective and it’s nice to know we are all in this together…

So cheers to many, MANY, M A N Y more years to come!