Category: Survivor Stories

My Aunt Vicky

.Reading time 5 minutes.
Vicky is my aunt and here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats:
At age 63, in 2014 I was diagnosed with DCIS. Stage 2. It was caught early, seen in a mammogram but I felt it also. I had the mastectomy done and reconstruction. I felt like I did not want any of that ‘C’ in my body…I wanted it out. At 63 and finally retired…I wanted to enjoy my retirement. So this was coming out and I would move on. Now I am doing well and moving on with life.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
I never thought it would be me. But when I heard that ‘C’ word I just went silent and a thousand questions went through my head at super speed. My first concern, my husband and my family. How bad and how long do I have? I was freaked out! I had a lot of fear and tension was high.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
Meditation is my best coping skill. Taking walks and talking and meditating and prayer. God is my strength! My family and friends too.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
My support system in a rural and small town where I live were 5 others who had same type I did. One was younger than me and I was younger than other 4. I was scared. They all survived and gave me books and their own personal experiences on care and options that I, and only I, could decide for myself. My husband Ray was my rock. He studied the Martial Arts and Philosophy and he helped me through a rough year. My daughter Lisa was a savior for me too. My family were all there for me. Having friends and family is the best support. Or even a group of survivors is the best. Support groups work!
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
That all is ok and I will get through this. I will no longer be afraid and I live in a world of plus one. You are what you are…If you think you’re sick then you are. If you think you’re afraid then you are. So I don’t think bad thoughts. I decided that I am fine..I will get through this and go on with life. You have to think positive!
Where are you at in life now?  Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I am in a great place now. I will survive. I am at peace. It seems I have heard or met more people with C since I was diagnosed. C is out there in many different kinds and we need to end this horrible disease now!
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?
Yes…medications have given me some side effects, neuropathy and nausea. I am done with meds now and the nausea is better but neuropathy is a lasting one and hopefully will dissipate some day. Mentally, fear is there at times but I won’t let it in and just move on.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
In the process of moving closer to a city. I want to help by donating my time to others in need. Maybe with children in hospitals and or the elderly.
Have you noticed any lasting effects on your families and friends?
No…won’t let it.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
Life is Short…Live it. I have no fear!
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
I don’t need to hope what they will remember…I see it in them when I’m around them now….lots of laughter!  How I was always there for them.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now?
Selling my house and moving on to a new adventure. Living life! I want to volunteer to help others wherever God puts me.

My Friend Emily H.

.Reading time 10 minutes.
I met Emily through a Flat (No Reconstruction) Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story /stats: 
In May 2017, I was diagnosed with stage III triple negative breast cancer at 31 years old. I had just celebrated my birthday a few weeks earlier. Fourteen months prior, at the age of 29, I found a lump during the first breast exam I had ever given myself. I was 32 weeks pregnant at the time so because of this, I had been frequently seeing the doctor for checkups. I informed the physicians right away of what I had found, but they were not concerned – even though I had a family history. They said I was too young for it to be breast cancer and that it was a clogged duct, or galactocele – both very common during pregnancy – and it would go away when I was done breastfeeding. Needless to say, it didn’t go away and I WAS young enough to have cancer.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I’m a mama to a brilliant, beautiful little girl, a photographer & artist, and breast cancer & flat advocate. I’m the creator of EMPOWERHAUS; an alternative awareness and empowerment brand, and Flatties Unite; a body positive Facebook group for women living with less than 2 breasts.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
The same thing that still plagues my thoughts, even after losing my breasts, going through chemo and burning from radiation: “Is this real?” I still have moments where I catch myself thinking this is just a nightmare that I’ll wake up from one day.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I tend to turn inward and shy up when I’m going through something difficult. I sleep as much as my daughter allows me to. Getting moving helps me: listening to my favorite music, dancing with my daughter, going for nature walks, stretching and creating art all help me cope.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
I feel blessed every day to have the husband, parents, in laws and friends I have. Every one has been so supportive throughout my experience, and in the creation of EMPOWERHAUS. But the biggest shout out I owe is to my online community! The women in my Facebook group, Flatties Unite, are among some of the most thoughtful, strong, beautiful women that I’ve ever met. Their support of my efforts is incredible and something I cherish always: I love each and every one of my sisters.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
That I am beautiful: I decided to “go flat” and even though I knew in my heart it was the right decision for me personally, I had prepared myself to be upset when I looked in the mirror, because I had been told by the plastic surgeon I consulted with that if I went flat, I would regret it and my self esteem and life would suffer. But what I found when I looked in the mirror that first time after the mastectomy, was BEAUTY; and it was a type of beauty I had never seen in myself before. Even though my breasts were totally gone, there I was… still a whole woman. And for a second, I hadn’t even noticed they were gone, and that moment would shape my whole future.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
That you have to be a certain age. And that when someone’s hair grows back they are suddenly better. Young women can and do get breast cancer and if I had “stats” on the support I had when I was bald compared to the support I have now with hair, it would show a sharp plunge. I don’t look sick, therefore I’m not, right? Not. Cancer treatment is toxic in and of itself, and the trauma we’ve gone through can never be forgotten. Typically, it’s only when treatment ends that the depression surfaces.
Thoughts on the pink… 
My personal opinion on it is this: the original pink ribbon and its message was beautiful. Unfortunately, I believe the ribbon has been misused and twisted into being a symbol that it wasn’t originally intended to be; a catalyst for greed. I have a pink ribbon tattoo on my middle finger, for many reasons: it symbolizes my experience, it represents my grandmothers who had breast cancer (one of whom died from metastatic breast cancer), it reminds me “fuck cancer!” which helps when I’m feeling down; it is something I am proud to have. BUT, the practice of coloring something pink during the month of October, marketing it to people who genuinely want to support, and lining CEO’s pockets with the proceeds – AKA, pinkwashing – is disgusting and immoral.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I’m okay. I’m alive. Some days are good, really good. And some days are really, really bad. Since the completion of my treatment, 15 months worth, I have realized that I will never be the same person I was. In many ways I am stronger, mentally speaking, faith speaking. But physically speaking, I am more like a 70 year old than a 32 year old. I have a lot of nerve pain, muscle weakness, and cognitive dysfunction. My brain simply cannot handle the amount of mental tasks I once I could. I have post traumatic stress disorder now; some things trigger episodes of anxiety, fear relating back to my treatment and experience. Some days these facts are frustrating. Other days, I move past it. I take it day by day, and imagine that I always will from here on out.
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
Fuck the haters! Live your truth. No apologies.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I am passionate about the things I was before (arts, motherhood, advocacy) but I think it has increased ten-fold, because I now truly understand the time crunch we are under in this lifetime. Before, I was scared to pursue my dreams. I didn’t give myself enough credit. I talked myself out of most of the opportunities that came my way. Now, I embrace it all fully and just go with the flow and do what I want and don’t look back.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
“Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.” – Kurt Vonnegut
What’s the latest happenings in your life now? 
My EMPOWERHAUS brand is growing, I run an amazing Facebook group for flat women called Flatties Unite, and I am pouring paint to my heart’s delight. You can learn more about me and my story at: mrsemilyhopper.com & empowerhaus.co
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
Medical professionals are not always right; they are human too, so listen to your intuition. If it is telling you to get something checked out, listen. If you want to go flat, but someone tries to talk you out of it, stand up for yourself. Only you know your body on an intimate level. You know what’s right for you, and you know if something isn’t right, too! You must be your own advocate.

My Friend Rebecca

.Reading time 6 minutes.
I met Rebecca through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story /stats:
I was diagnosed at the age of 38. I was 8 months pregnant with my first child, at the time. I happened to feel the 9mm lump in the underarm area on my right side and had my OB check it at my regularly scheduled appointment the following week. From there, I went to the breast health center for a day of checks that included a mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy, and was diagnosed with Stage 1 Triple Positive cancer a few days later. Because the cancer was so small but also triple positive, they gave me the option regarding chemo and radiation. I decided to hit it with everything. My thought was that if I did everything possible to combat the cancer and it came back, at least I would know that I did all I could. But if I chose not to do chemo and radiation, and the cancer returned, I know that I would never forgive myself for not doing more.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
What makes me, me…I think if I had to narrow myself down to a few sentences, I would say that my openness, my empathy and love for others, and my thoughtfulness, are my most defining characteristics.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
“How can I have cancer? I take such good care of myself. How could my body betray me in this way?” I really just couldn’t believe it. I was definitely in shock.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I think I cope with difficult times by staying busy, and by using humor to make light of situations. Pot helps too. And yoga and running.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I have learned that I am more comfortable when I can manage some sort of control in any given situation. I’ve also learned how to let go of control and how to have a certain level of comfort when I am not in control. I also have learned how much strength there is in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Opening up about how you feel and what you’re going through takes a great deal of strength.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
I think that many people, myself included, experience a great deal of shock and trauma upon diagnosis. It’s so hard to believe that this has happened to you. I think it’s important for people to know that it can always happen and also to know that the treatment is only a piece of the experience. Cancer diagnosis is a life-long struggle and the fears and emotions that go along with it are complicated and eternal. There are also many physical side effects that accompany the post-cancer treatment.
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
Stop eating so many carbs, and try to lose the stress. Eat more vegetables, cook more whole foods. Get sleep. Don’t open a restaurant. Also, make the most of the great times in your life. Try harder to enjoy those moments and to be fully present (still a struggle).
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I think that the biggest impact that my dx had on me is my commitment to healthy eating and my adoption of a vegan diet. This has also impacted my family and my daughter has been raised vegan so far as well. I am very passionate about food, healthy food in particular. I have also subsequently learned a great deal about the food industry and have made a commitment to contributing to our ecosystem in a more positive manner.
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
I hope that people remember me for being brave, kind, and loving.
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
I think that the hardest part for me is that the first couple years of my daughter’s life are a bit blurry. I’m sure that some of that is transcendent across all new mothers but I attribute much of it to the chemo and the shock of my coinciding diagnosis. I wish I could go back and have that time with her, and be able to focus all of my energy on being a mother of a newborn. But I will never get that time back and that’s something that I always carry with me.