Tag: Pregnant With Cancer

My Friend Jenny

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I met Jenny via Instagram, I reached out after seeing a few of her posts.  Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer at 28 weeks pregnant and just a couple of months shy of my 34th birthday. I had discovered the lump around 20 weeks but chalked it up to normal pregnancy stuff. The lump quickly doubled, then tripled in size, measuring at 9 cm at the time of diagnosis. It was estimated that I was stage 2B (I wasn’t able to do more testing until after the baby came, that test and the surgery pathology confirmed the staging) with a grade 3 tumor. I tested negative for the BRCA gene, but a variance of unknown significance, RAD51C, came up in my report. It has a connection to both breast and ovarian cancer so my doctor recommended that I remove my ovaries before age 40.

 

C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!

I’m 36 years-old, living in Baltimore, MD with my husband Jesse, our 2-year-old daughter Chloë and our cat Cash. I’m currently a freelance writer with a background in journalism and some marketing and communications work. I love photography, yoga and gardening.

 

What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?

“But, I’m pregnant…” I don’t remember a whole lot after I heard the doctor tell me that I had cancer over the phone. It was noon, I was at work and I thought my doctor was just going to say that the lump was benign but it needed to be removed but that it could wait. I never even considered the possibility that it would be anything beyond that. But that’s what he said and I suddenly realized that I had to tell my husband. It was heartbreaking to tell him and then have to say the words again to our parents.

 

What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?

Yoga, meditation, cannabis, acupuncture, time with family and friends, I could go on but the bottom line is: self care has been an important part of my healing journey during and beyond breast cancer. These are the tools in my kit 🙂

 

Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?

My friends and family are amazing. I would not be here would it not have been for their love and support. It sounds like a canned response but it is so true. Tragedies, emergencies—that’s when people really step up and contribute in unexpected ways. Our friends got together and bought us a deep freezer so we could store the hundreds of ounces of breast milk that friends and friends-of-friends had donated to us. People brought frozen meals or sent cards with words of encouragement. All of these things helped in some way and also let us know that there was a larger community looking out for our little family.  

I also have found a lot of support in the cancer community, both through social media (Instagram and Facebook) and also locally at the hospital where I was treated (Johns Hopkins) and support centers in the community such as HopeWell. I feel an immediate connection to other survivors. It’s like service members who have seen battle—there’s just something in their eyes: they get it. A major positive for me in this whole experience with cancer has been the friendships I have made. I would not have met a lot of these amazing people had it not been for such a terrible commonality and that is something to be positive about!

 

Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?

I am always quick to tell people that chemotherapy is safe while pregnant! I HATE that horrified look on people’s faces when I tell that I went through one round of chemo while I was pregnant. The truth is that it is totally safe and there are tons of studies out there to back that up. The molecules are too large to pass through the placenta and therefore the baby is basically unaffected by the drugs.

 

What have you learned about yourself since dx?

I’m still learning! Breast cancer challenged me to my physical and emotional limits. It taught me that I am a lot stronger than I had ever thought but also that life is precious and there are no guarantees for tomorrow. I am still fearful of a recurrence but I am slowly learning to live with that fear and know that it will get better with each day. So trying to stay as present as possible is very important to me.

 

What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.

Cancer isn’t a death sentence and being diagnosed with cancer isn’t a result of anything that the people “did.” Cancer happens to people of all ages and backgrounds.

 

Thoughts on the pink… 

It’s MARKETING. And pretty damn effective at that. But seriously, most of that shit doesn’t go to any research, it’s just a ploy to sell junk and fool people into believing that they’re donating to a cause. If you actually want to do some good in the world of breast cancer, donate directly to organizations that actually FUND research, because that’s what is going to save lives. There still isn’t a cure for breast cancer and research is so vitally important, 40,000 women died from it last year.

Some organizations that I donate to include: Metavivor, Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation, Young Survival Coalition, American Cancer Society and HopeWell Cancer Support (it’s a local support center here in Baltimore).

 

Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…

At this moment I am 2 years from my diagnosis and I feel as though I am in transition. I learned a lot about myself through cancer treatment but when that ended, I struggled with the “what next” part. I struggled with survivor guilt and anxiety of a recurrence, I still do, but for awhile it was overwhelming and debilitating.

I have a follow-up reconstructive surgery scheduled for January that will hopefully fix some of the sagging and rippling that has been happening on my right side. I love my plastic surgeon and I think she has done an amazing job but implants are a pain. They just feel so foreign and I don’t think that will ever change for me. Sure they “look” great, but I miss my breasts.    

 

Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?

Right now I am still struggling with joint pain, fatigue and anxiety.

 

What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?

I am very passionate about yoga and cannabis, both used together and separately. I had an interest prior to my cancer diagnosis, but throughout treatment I leaned on both yoga and cannabis to heal my mind, body and spirit. I would never tell anyone to use alternative medicine or integrative modalities in place of traditional medicine, but I think it’s important to explore alternative means of healing. Terrible side effects come along with medical treatments and to combat those, the doctors will prescribe medications that often come with their own side effects. It’s a vicious cycle. And one that can be stopped by integrating alternative methods of healing. Yoga, meditation, nutrition, acupuncture, reiki, and yes, cannabis—all of these aided my healing during an extremely difficult time and helped me recover both mentally and physically from cancer treatment.  

 

Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?

Right now I’m slowly picking up more freelance work and thinking about going back to work in some capacity. Being home with Chloe is really important to me right now, especially because she’s still so young but I also have some ideas bouncing around in my head that I am interested in pursuing. So stay tuned 🙂

 

Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?

The past and the future don’t matter. All that matters is this moment. And it is PERFECT.

It’s basically a reminder for myself to stay centered and exist in the present. I’m still working on this though, it’s definitely easier said than done!

 

Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?

I hope that they remember a loving and caring friend, wife, mother, daughter who wasn’t afraid of taking risks or trying new things.

Honestly the most important thing to me right now is being a good role model for my daughter.   

 

Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.

There are so many things! Haha at this moment the fact that I don’t have nipples and have little to no sensation in my breasts has been a source of stress. When you’re in fighter mode you’re willing to do anything you can to slay the beast but when the battle has been “won” and life moves on. There are very real scars and changes that are permanent and that is something that takes a while to adapt to and finally accept. In terms of sexuality, losing breasts/nipples/sensation, it’s an adjustment. And at times that reality can be heartbreaking.  

 

What’s the latest happenings in your life now? 

Right now I’m working on putting an updated portfolio together and searching for my next career move. I wrote a series of articles about integrative medicine and breast cancer and they will be published in October. I’ll be sharing everything through my website, jennyleyh.com.  

My Friend Julia

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I met Julia through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats: 
I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer when I was 30 years old. I also happened to be 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. I had been very active my entire life and for the duration of my pregnancy. I had worked out earlier in the day and been lying on the ground stretching my back when I found the lump. My intuition knew it didn’t feel right and I mentioned it to my OB at my regular appointment two days after finding it. She immediately sent me for an ultrasound and well, the rest is history…
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I love to travel. I love to workout. I love cooking. I love wine…who doesn’t! I love sailing and being outdoors. I am super goofy….what good are you if you can’t laugh at yourself. I am a dentist and I love what I do. I love spending time with my husband, Dave, and our daughter, Isla. I love spending time with my family and friends. I cannot sit still. I am very OCD. I am obsessed with our pug, Abe…pugs in general.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
Am I going to get to see my daughter start Kindergarten? And then a multitude of others things. My mind kind of went blank. So many thoughts were going through my mind and were so loud, I couldn’t hear anything. I remember the Radiologist talking to me but I cannot remember what he said after “You have cancer.”
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
Working out and self care. One thing that made me feel normal was getting up everyday, showering, getting dressed, putting on makeup and always having a pair of earrings in (my mom always says this). You wouldn’t think that those things help you cope but when you have no hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, jewelry can be a powerful thing. It makes you feel pretty at a time when you feel low. I have kind of made big earrings my thing as my hair has been growing out. 🙂
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
My family and friends are AHHHHHMAZING. My husband stepped in after our daughter was born and really took care of her while I was finishing chemo. He woke up with her in the middle of the night and took the role as dad very seriously. My mom and sister came to every chemo appointment with me. My sister lives in Chicago and she would come home on the train every 2 weeks and stay the weekend with us. On Mondays we would drive the hour to the hospital and be there all day and then she would take the 2 hour train back to Chicago late at night to go to work the next day. It’s weird to say but those were some of my favorite memories with my mom and sister. Hours to sit and chat, laugh, while a poison was being pumped into your system, made you forget about that part. My oldest sister lives out East and sent lots and lots of care packages while I was undergoing chemo from a stuffed pug so “Abe” could keep me company at the hospital, to adult coloring books that may have not been hospital appropriate. My in-laws and Dad always made an amazing effort to help take care of Isla when I had chemo, scans, surgeries, or to just have a night out. My friends and coworkers made meals for us. I know there is never enough you can say to people when it comes to thanking them but I was overwhelmed with the amount of love and support that was shown to our family.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I found my lump on Sunday, saw my Doctor Tuesday, diagnosed Wednesday, met with my surgeon Friday, and met my Oncologist and started Chemo the following Monday. SIX days in total that it took for my life to be turned upside down. I went through 3 treatments with my daughter. I was monitored very closely by my new OB and perinatologist. I am SO blessed to have had such an amazing care team that all communicated and explained everything to me. I was never told that I could not have treatment while being pregnant. The chemotherapy drugs are too big to actually cross the blood/placental barrier. My daughter was born full term, healthy, happy and has hit every milestone in her development.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I have always been a very happy and positive person. But this experience took it to a whole new level. I appreciate things so much more. I try to never say no to an opportunity.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
You’re never too young. Too healthy, Too nice. No family history. Pregnant so it can’t be. Sometimes you can’t feel a lump standing up- I would do my self breast exams in the shower and my lump was undetectable standing up.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
Currently I am almost 2 years out from diagnosis and 19 months in remission. As the days go on I do think less and less about cancer. It isn’t the first thing I think of when I wake up anymore. Mentally, I still have my weaknesses and moments where I am scared or cry or can’t sleep. Physically I feel fantastic. I got a personal trainer and he helps me get to goals that I’ve set for myself. I try to workout 5-6 days a week because this also helps me mentally.
Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?
We hope to have more kids. My cancer was hormone negative so it was not fueled by the hormones in pregnancy. I always wanted a big family and in August I was given the all clear to start trying for our second! 🙂

My Friend Jessica

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I met Jessica through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

I was 14 weeks pregnant with my first child. We were thrilled! We had been trying for years and I was finally pregnant! I was watching TV one Sunday evening when I felt a tingling sensation in my left breast. I touched it and there it was… a lump. I immediately consulted Dr. Google and the results I found were cancer. I freaked out and started crying and by the end of the week I was diagnosed with stage 2B inter ductal carcinoma breast cancer. I was 34 years old and have no family history of the disease. I was upset, but I put those scary feelings aside and I knew I had to be strong for my baby. I waited so long to meet him and I wasn’t going to let anything bring me down, not even cancer. The next day after my cancer diagnosis I went to Babies R Us to start my baby registry because I wanted to focus on the future and the happy things happening in my life. My treatment included six rounds of chemotherapy while my son was still in the womb, I gave birth, had a lumpectomy two days later, followed by twelve weeks of Taxol, and finished with 36 rounds of radiation. Today, I am on Tamoxaphen, Lupron, and I’m “cancer free.”
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I struggle with depression, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. I see a therapist on a regular basis and take Effexor for my depression/anxiety. Sometimes it takes everything in me to get out of bed every morning. I cope by moving my body, being creative, and learning new things. I love to read and listening to podcasts.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I love being creative! I am passionate about photography, music, journaling, makeup, fashion, and home decor. When I was younger I was creative, but I decided to pursue business when I was in college because I didn’t want to be a “starving artist.” Creativity fills my bucket! I thrive on creativity and it’s something I didn’t make time for before cancer, but today I make it a priority.
Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! I’m having fun exploring different career options. I love helping people and a dream of mine is to start a non-profit for cancer mama retreats.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now? 
I’m working on rebranding my blog to incorporate other topics besides cancer. Cancer will always be a part of my life, but I’m so much more than my diagnosis! Follow my instagram @joyfulaftercancer if you are interested in home interiors, makeup, motherhood, mental wellness, and breast cancer awareness!