Last Friday’s blood draw showed that my white blood cell counts weren’t up to where they needed to be so I had to continue with the Zarxio shots until last night. I went back for another draw today and holy crap, they were way up!! The doctor’s office called to say that chemo is definitely a go for this week. 👍🏻 During our conversation, I brought up my bone pain and how it got extremely worse the last few days. She reminded me that the shots stimulate bone marrow to make more white blood cells which creates pain. The higher the white blood cell count, the more pain. The average range is like 4×1000/mcL – 11×1000/mcL. Mine was 23.5x1000mcL this morning. 😳 Which explains why at Target today, I- for real- almost couldn’t get back up from grabbing something off of the bottom shelf because I thought my hip joints and lower spine were shattering. Not cool, man. 

On Sunday, I saged the shit out of our house to get rid off all the bad juju I’ve been feeling around. It felt necessary, going into this week with my 3rd AC- which just the thought of, makes me queasy as hell. Harlon loved the sage burning, he kept saying “Mmmmmm smells goooood” Cute kid. He’s right, it does smell good and it makes me feel good. 

Feeling good- It’s funny, a handful of days before my next chemo is due and I finally get my energy and mental clarity back. Like I am free from the chemo confusion. Happiness and positivity are dominant again. I feel creative and ready to take on the world- ready to get shit done. I’m back to being a capable mother. I find myself organizing and purging. Heading to target and to the park. In this small window of time, I am wanting to make plans, plan trips, have living room dance parties, go to dinners, pop pink champagne, go shopping at the mall- and then go home as soon as I realize I don’t like the mall and do some online shopping. But you get it. My future feels so bright, this surge of energy makes me feel powerful and in control of my life again. I feel like superwoman. I also have this overwhelming sense of peace about everything. Things feel good. I want to feel this way after all of this crap is over. That’s a goal of mine. Among others. Those, I’ll share another day. 

While purging and organizing today, I came across all of the cards I’ve received since my diagnosis. I have mentioned in the past that I’ve saved nearly every card ever given to me. These are no exception. I absolutely love getting cards and notes in the mail. And I love going back and reading them over again. This is the stack. Minus a few that Harlon took for himself because they were “kewl”. 

 John is going to cringe when he sees this. Sorry John. But he knows, I “hang onto things”.  (NOT A HOARDER) I’m notorious for leaving a pile of papers on the counter and saving ones I’ll go through later. That pile usually makes it to another pile somewhere out of sight. These were part of that ‘out of sight’ pile. And they make me so happy. 🤗 I like being happy. 

Fun pic of the day- in the Target parking lot.