My Friend Sarah

October 5, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

I met Sarah through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas group. Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

I was 34 when I was diagnosed. I had a 7 year old son and had gotten married 9 months earlier. I had absolutely no reason to suspect I would have cancer. No family history, no extraordinary risk factors.

C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!

I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I take each of these roles very seriously. I spend the majority of my time fulfilling those roles, which means I go to a lot of football games, baseball games, basketball games, weddings… I love to go out on our boat, play with my kids, ride 4 wheelers and shoot clay pigeons. I love my slow, quiet Midwestern life.

What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?

“I don’t want to die. I can’t leave my son. I can’t leave my husband. There are so many things I still need to do. I don’t want to die.”

What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?

I cry. If I am happy, sad, scared, overwhelmed or anxious, I cry. Once I have a good cry, I am able to get through most things okay.

Tell us about your support system. Or lack of.

My husband has been my rock. He was with me through every treatment, every doctor’s appointment, every surgery… There’s no way I could have made it through everything without him. My extended family and my in-laws were also amazing, pitching in wherever they could to help make things easier.

Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?

I had no idea you could have treatment while pregnant. When my OB/GYN told me it was possible, it was the greatest feeling of relief I’d ever had. I had 4 rounds of AC over 12 weeks. I lost my hair and was exhausted, but those are the only major side effects I experienced.

What have you learned about yourself since dx?

I have learned that I can make it through just about anything as long as I have a good enough reason to. I’ve dealt with my fair share of shit in my adult life. My oldest son has been my reason, and my husband and younger son became my other reasons.

What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.

I think the most common misconception is that cancer is “beaten” as soon as it’s gone. It takes a lot more than removing it to beat it. It is always there – in your dreams, in the back of your mind, in your fears…

Thoughts on the pink…

Before cancer, I was not a fan of pink. After cancer, I’m even less a fan of pink. If you’re asking about Susan G. Komen specifically, the organization makes me furious. They could do so much more good than they do, but they’re more concerned with making money. I encourage everyone to donate to metavivor.org, as that’s the only organization I know of that uses nearly all of their proceeds to fund research. Without new treatments, we will continue to lose incredible people to this hideous disease. I’ve lost too many, I’m afraid I will lose more.

Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…

I am in a better place now than I have ever been. I have a decent job that allows me to provide for my family, I am surrounded by wonderful people and I am at peace.

Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.

I am one of the lucky ones. I haven’t had to deal with any of the lasting physical side effects that others have had. The biggest mental side effect is probably the nagging worry that cancer will come back. I’m not scared of it, but I do worry about what it will do to my family if it comes back.

Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.

The constipation after taking odansetron for 5 days was horrible. I thought it was ripping me in two. You would never think the worst thing about cancer was poop. More specifically a lack thereof…

Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?

Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. It’s a quote from the TV series Friday Night Lights, but it has become my mantra. If you keep sight of the important things (clear eyes) and make love your priority (full hearts), you can do anything you need to do (can’t lose).

My Friend Colleen

October 4, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

I met Colleen through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group. Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

I was officially diagnosed 5 days after my 37th birthday (happy birthday to me!). The diagnosis was Stage 2A Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma in-situ (breast cancer) with definite lymph node involvement (they could see it on the ultrasound so were pretty sure right from the screening that it was in my lymph nodes). I was married and already a mom of one, my daughter Peyton who was 7 yrs old, and 9 weeks pregnant with my second. We had been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and had finally started the adoption process when we found out I was pregnant! I found the lump in the shower at Christmas right when we told our families that we were expecting.

What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?

I was so scared and so sad that having my baby wasn’t going to be possible. I didn’t want to die and leave my 7 yr old without a mom.

What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?

Honestly, I think the coping skill I use the most is avoidance. I just didn’t think about it – I did the treatments the doctors told me to do and just kept on going. It may not sound like a lot but just continuing to move forward and live your life, do the treatments, and make it out the other side intact is an accomplishment.

Tell us about your support system. Or lack of.

Family and friends came out of the woodwork when I told them about my diagnosis. It was very moving to see how many people cared. Unfortunately, my husband just couldn’t process it all and was not very supportive. Ultimately, our relationship ended after treatment. I became closer with my family and close friends during the whole cancer/divorce process and they listened to me vent and cry with such patience. I really leaned on them a lot. The KACM site was also very helpful to see that I wasn’t alone and that my baby would be ok.

Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?

When I went in for my mammogram and then immediate ultrasound and biopsy they could tell right away that it was cancer. When I asked about the baby I was told “chemo kills swiftly dividing cells so I don’t think the baby would survive”. Luckily, google exists and I found out pretty quickly that you CAN have chemo while pregnant and the outcomes for the baby are excellent. But even at a large Bay Area facility that treats thousands of cancer patients, the scanning staff didn’t know that. During the initial meetup with potential oncologists/breast surgeons, etc. I was lucky enough to come into contact with two doctors that had treated a pregnant woman with breast cancer the year before they met me. It was amazing! Even so, there was still an oncologist who suggested termination as a solution. I’m so surprised that this is still suggested when outcomes for the mom do not change regardless of whether they are pregnant or not. In addition, there are national guidelines for treating cancer in pregnant women. All doctors should be aware of these at a minimum.

What have you learned about yourself since dx?

That I am important. It’s a lesson that I’m still learning but cancer made me realize that what I need or even just want is important too.

Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?

Yes, definitely. I am 3 1/2 years out from treatment and I still struggle with word recall and memory. I also have trouble sleeping and have aches/pains due to early menopause and the medication I have to take for another 7 years to help prevent a reoccurence. Looking back, I can tell now that in the first year or so after treatment I was still very emotional.

Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?

“Look on the bright side” done with a sing-songy voice and jazz hands! This was just a joke in our family but I really do believe that you just have to move past the bad stuff and look at the good.

My Friend Tara

October 3, 2018.Reading time 2 minutes.

I met Tara at a meet up that had been posted in the YSC San Diego Facebook group. Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

Stage 2a IDC triple positive breast cancer diagnosed September 2015 at 26 years old.

What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?

I rely on my yoga practice and meditation. Every morning after my workout, I include an extended savasana with crystal healing and Reiki.

Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?

I get my support from the amazing group of San Diego survivors I have brought together through the Foundation for Living Beauty.

What have you learned about yourself since dx?

I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I’ve learned who I am as a person.

Thoughts on the pink…

Don’t fall into the pink trap. Donate to Metavivor, that is where the real research happens.

What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?

I have always led a pretty healthy lifestyle. However, cancer at 26 was a huge wake up call. It allowed me to step into the core being of who I am. It allowed me to discover and go after my true passions in life. I am now a yoga teacher who is also certified in yoga for cancer recovery and a Reiki Master.

Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?

No mud, no lotus

What’s the latest happenings in your life now?

I have started my own yoga and healing business! I teach yoga for cancer recovery and am a Reiki Master healer. I also host monthly cancer survivor dinners in San Diego. Please check out my website for my latest events: healedhealthywhole.com and give me a follow on instagram @healed_healthy_whole

If people take away anything from your story, it would be…

You are stronger than you think.