Tag: Breast Cancer

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed 

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Ninth Taxol treatment in the works! Three more to go and then on to the AC. 

Nothing much to report today. Thankfully! And in the spirit of being thankful, which I am on the daily, I’ll share with you my current alphabet list. 

Remember way back, when I told you all that sometimes I play the alphabet game in my head? Well, today’s genre is gratitude and things that make me happy. 🤗 Note- this list is NOT the end all, be all. Just the things that popped into my head while trying to pass the time during chemo. And because it’s my game, I make the rules. You’ll see what I mean when we get to X 😁

A- Alternative Medicine 
B- Belly laughs

C- Cards 

D- Doggies

E- Ellen

F- Family and Friends 

G- Giggles

H- HGTV 

I- Impromptu dance parties in the driveway to Christmas music and Christmas laser light decorations 

J- John

K- Kombucha

L- La Croix 

M- Modern Medicine 

N- Nausea Meds 

O- Olives stuffed with yummy things

P- Parades

Q- Quiet Moments 

R- New Recipes 

S- Seat Heaters

T- Tamales

U- Ukuleles 

V- Visits from my parents in my dreams 

W- The Woody Show on 98.7

X- Extra Hugs and Kisses from Little H 

Y- Yoga

Z- Zippered onesies for W

Did any of you watch This Is Us last night? Man I love that show! William’s speech about appreciating the tiny beautiful moments really hit me, gave me the chills. So real and relevant. 

You don’t need me to remind you, especially during this season, but I’ll say it anyway. Always remember to be thankful; say it out loud, write it down, or just say it in your head. Express gratitude even for the little things- for those, sometimes, really are the big things. 

Each night, as I close my eyes, I give thanks for the wonderful things in my life. Try it out. It feels nice. 

I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving! And if you feel like putting it out there, tell me- What are you grateful for? 🍁

Day 2 of Chemo

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Today was my second chemo treatment. Feeling good as of now. Again, I was super amped from the steroids but they helped me get a lot done around the house! To pass the time, I colored in my adult coloring book. Accidentally blamed John for a fart by the old man across from me- I’m still giggling about it. And we watched so many episodes of Flip or Flop. Today was only Taxol, no Carboplatin. I won’t get that additional sucker until my next “cycle” which is technically my 4th treatment. Make sense? Carbo will be added every 4th time. Apparently that’s the one that usually causes nausea so here’s hoping for only a tired and achy reaction. 

On to other things, the other night while walking home from the park, I had a mini impromptu meltdown when we passed the kids and parents getting ready for football practice. I was watching the other moms pull up in their cars, SUVs, and mini vans and I freaked out. I watched them pull their chairs out of their trunks and rush over to the fields to settle in. That’s when I realized that I want that so bad. I have talked so much shit on mini vans but I would cruise up in one in a heartbeat if it meant I could be around to watch my boys participate in something.  It was one of those cry/ laughs. Have you seen that commercial? It’s a guy talking about laughing and then sobbing and how it’s a medical condition. Looks like a joke and then you realize it’s a real commercial for some drug? Well I felt like that guy. Crying and then laughing and then crying…. so on and so on. 

It was during that moment, I decided that I want to be team mom. And room mom. And plan those cabin vacations in the winters and beach vacations in the summers. Anything to make sure that I have all of the quality time possible with my family. John was sure to add on that we will need to do lots of beach camping at San Elijo state beach. I am so down. 

For the most part, I am confident and fearless. But like any human, I have my weaker moments. I can usually smile through the fear and tears but sometimes the fear sneaks through. This is fucking scary shit. And I realize how real it is. And how fucked up the whole situation is. Not just for me but for my husband, kids, family, and friends. 

Thank goodness John was able to bring me back and calm me down pretty quickly.  I would have looked like a crazy lady laugh/ crying the whole walk home. He’s so positive, I’m lucky I get to spend my days with such a supportive and loving person. Even through my crazy.  ❤️

Chemo Day # 1

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I apologize for not answering calls and texts last night and this morning. I have been a bit… on edge. Plus, I am a mom of a child already entering the terrible twos which has not been aiding the situation. Lord, help me. 

The unknown has had me stressed for sure. Not just stressed , I won’t lie, I’ve been a pissy bitch. Sorry to anyone who has dealt with that. (Cough, cough- John😬)  But now I’m here, sitting in the chair, port poked and in use. I’m watching the Today show and John is doing some work. It’s like we are at home just kicking it. NOT. Kidding, the nurses here are great and making me feel really comfortable. I could get used to this, like for the next 6 months or something. Ha! Kidding again, maybe chemo makes me funny. 😜

I am by far the youngest person the room.  It’s a little silly, some of he looks I get are super sad. I am ok though, hoping that my age allows me to fight harder. I did just have the sweetest lady come by and introduce herself. She is also triple negative and on the same regiment as me just flip flopped. She started with AC and is ending with Taxol. She had some nice tips and tricks. 

I plan to post later today or tomorrow with an update on how I’m feeling. So stay tuned. Also, some big doins’ happening this weekend. Change, it’s in the hair. 😉

***Fun fact that I apparently didn’t share before when I was super drugged up following delivery. Part of the reason Wyatt was an emergency C Section was because he was breached, butt first. So when he pooped in me, he really pooped out of me…. think about that. Gross.