Tag: Survivor

My Friend Emily R.

.Reading time 8 minutes.
I met Emily through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats: 
I was diagnosed at age 32 and turned 33, 3 days later. Stage IIIa, 25 weeks pregnant. I had a lump for many years that was called a cyst. It would come and go with periods. When I was pregnant it got very hard and never went away. Then I small red streak appeared at the top of my breast. After trying some antibiotics for a clogged milk duct, I did the real tests to find out it was cancer.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I’m sarcastic, sometimes funny, I love fitness, I love the beach, I’m a PE teacher, wife and mother. I love dogs, hikes, acupuncture, yoga and to be around friends and family.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
Honestly, just shock and fear, I think I cried every day for about two weeks. I saw death. But thank god, that hasn’t been the outcome for me, yet.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I write sometimes, I complain to my friends on Facebook, I go to acupuncture, I go to the gym.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
My husband is my rock, but I’m not big on verbalizing things until they are really bad. I could probably do better on that end. I wish my friends would reach out more and make more of an effort to spend time with me.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I didn’t have too many weird situations when this came up, mostly people just asked if the baby was ok.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I cannot handle stress. Lol. I have learned that I’m not impervious to suffering and illness.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
It’s not always a death sentence. But I wish people would support each other more. I had some great visits and people brought things to help us, but on the other hand you have close friends who never visited or anything. Just don’t get weird, be there!
Thoughts on the pink… 
I mean, I don’t feel a certain way, except it’s a club that I belong to. Not one that I want to belong to. I don’t wear pink every day, but my little pink ribbon tattoo reminds me of the shit I went through and what I was capable of. It’s not about who my money goes to.
Where are you at in life now?  Mentally, physically, emotionally…
At this exact moment I feel like crap. I stopped my meds that put me into menopause in hopes of having another baby. My hormones are so all over the place, I’ve been fighting this anxiety and panic attack feeling for about a week. But all together for a month on and off. When I feel good, I feel strong and healthy, but today I feel low and broken.
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?
I might. I’m still trying to see if my anxiety is from me or just the out of whack hormones. I may need to pursue some counseling in the future if this doesn’t improve.
Have you noticed any lasting effects on your families and friends?
I feel like sometimes that they have already forgotten. In some ways I never want to talk about it again, but other times I want to vent!
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
Change your diet, open your mind, push the doctors to do what you think, listen to your body.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I’m more passionate about my personal relationships with people. I’m not good at them all the time but I’m trying.
Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?
I applied to a masters program, I’m hoping to be accepted into the next term! I want to teach at a community college.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
If I die today, it was the best day of my life. To me it just means, live today happy, make today the best day of your life, so if you died today, you died happy!
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
I hope they remember the good things about me. I hope they learn from me too.
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
It’s crazy how much of a blur that 6 months was. I tried to get pregnant for so many years and cancer just robbed my happiness. It took the one joy in my life and made it totally different. Being pregnant and going through cancer treatment is just so weird and fucked up.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now?
I feel like I’m fully back into “normal” life. Work, wife, mommy…doing everything I did before. I feel very happy with where I am, now I keep wishing for more and more, like there’s a big future still ahead of me.
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
You can come out of this crappy situation and find one thing to “learn” from it, you learn what you truly value. It will be ok, but have good supports set up, take care of yourself too, that’s important and be a nice person!

My Friend Jennifer

.Reading time 10 minutes.

 

I met Jennifer while working at LifeCare Solutions in San Diego.  Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:
I was DX 6 days after my 35th birthday and just having my 3rd child who was 3 months old. At the time, I had my older daughter Leilani who was 7, my son Luke who was 5 and my 3 month old Larissa. I was breastfeeding and thought it was a clogged milk duct. When my lump grew from the size of a quarter to a golf ball in one week, I knew something was not right. I went back to my OBGYN and he sent me in right away to get a biopsy done.  I got the call 3 days later that is was breast cancer. I was a triple negative and was at stage 3. I met my surgeon and met with my oncologist and 2 weeks later I had a double mastectomy. My doctors were very fast and just within that time, my mass grew to the size of a softball and consumed my whole right breast. I was told I could have a 50/50 chance of getting it in the other side. With just having a new baby and 2 toddlers, I was going to do what ever it took. I went through 6 rounds of chemo and 8 weeks of radiation. For the next two years, I went through 8 different surgeries, a partial hysterectomy and reconstructions of my breast. I had a purpose, to fight for my husband and kids. I wanted to see my kids grow and not miss out on anything. For my new baby to know her mom. I am happy to say I will be 10 years cancer free this year. My oldest started college, my son is a JR in high school and my baby Larissa is in 5th grade and knows her mommy. My husband and I will be celebrating 19 years of marriage. I am so thankful for every day.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I feel I am a good person and I love my family and friends.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
How was I going to sit down and tell my kids and husband. That was one of the hardest things, when my kids asked if I was going to die. What was my husband going to do?  Would he stay or leave me? We were so young and I was just so scared.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
My shower was my safe zone for crying and just having my own pity party. Then when I would get out and I would put my strong face on again for my family.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. 
I was so very lucky to have a huge support system. My husband and even my older two kids really stepped up so much to help me when I needed anything. My parents, sister, brother, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, in-laws, sister in laws, brother in laws and my friends. The week I would have my chemo, Larissa was shared by so many friends and family so I could rest and Che could go to work. We were truly blessed with the support, even from co-workers at my work and my husband’s work. It was truly amazing. I still get choked up about it.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
That I am stronger than I thought.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
That even though you might have won the battle, you will never be the same person again. It does change you and your body forever. I think that was a big thing for me. I would get told that a lot.
Thoughts on the pink… 
I did the Susan G Komen 3 day and have donated to that cause and to American Cancer society because I have lost many friends and family to other cancers. I wear my pink with pride and there is something about the bond you have with other survivors.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I am at a wonderful place. I have been here for many milestones that I was so afraid I would miss.
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.?
I have some of both mental and physical but I just push through it.
Have you noticed any lasting effects on your families and friends?
There are but my family and friends know that life is hard and after what they went through on this journey with me, they don’t complain much. Lol
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
That you will be ok and you will be challenged but are a strong lady.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I have always been passionate about being present with my kids and husband. I want my kids to know they can always count on me. I feel that way to all the people close to me in my life.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
Life is one day at a time.
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
That I loved everyone and I loved to have fun. I was a good person and to drink a beer. I always told them no crying, just celebrate and pour one for the homie..lol
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
I had three that I will never forget. My first one was after I came home from my double Mastectomy and it was 2-3 days after, when it was time to change my bandage. I was so scared to see it, so my husband Che and I decided we would lock our bedroom door and him and I would do it together. When that bandage came off we both cried together.
My second was right after my first chemo treatment. Your hair falls out pretty fast and so again I told Che “ok, get the older kids and your clippers and let’s shave my head.”
My third one was I wanted to stop my chemo treatments about my 3rd one in. I was getting sicker and weaker after each one and I could see my husband was just so worried. He had stayed home one day and we had this long talk because I was not sure what he was thinking or feeling. I think people forget and, even us that are going through this tuff time, that your spouse is feeling and going through it with you. Then he opened up about how he felt helpless because he wanted to fix me and have me better.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now? 
Life is good and busy with my family. I feel very blessed.
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
To never give up. We are stronger than we might think.

My Friend Sarah

.Reading time 6 minutes.
I met Sarah through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats:
I was 34 when I was diagnosed. I had a 7 year old son and had gotten married 9 months earlier. I had absolutely no reason to suspect I would have cancer. No family history, no extraordinary risk factors.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I take each of these roles very seriously. I spend the majority of my time fulfilling those roles, which means I go to a lot of football games, baseball games, basketball games, weddings… I love to go out on our boat, play with my kids, ride 4 wheelers and shoot clay pigeons. I love my slow, quiet Midwestern life.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
“I don’t want to die. I can’t leave my son. I can’t leave my husband. There are so many things I still need to do. I don’t want to die.”
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I cry. If I am happy, sad, scared, overwhelmed or anxious, I cry. Once I have a good cry, I am able to get through most things okay.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of.
My husband has been my rock. He was with me through every treatment, every doctor’s appointment, every surgery… There’s no way I could have made it through everything without him. My extended family and my in-laws were also amazing, pitching in wherever they could to help make things easier.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I had no idea you could have treatment while pregnant. When my OB/GYN told me it was possible, it was the greatest feeling of relief I’d ever had. I had 4 rounds of AC over 12 weeks. I lost my hair and was exhausted, but those are the only major side effects I experienced.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
I have learned that I can make it through just about anything as long as I have a good enough reason to. I’ve dealt with my fair share of shit in my adult life. My oldest son has been my reason, and my husband and younger son became my other reasons.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
I think the most common misconception is that cancer is “beaten” as soon as it’s gone. It takes a lot more than removing it to beat it. It is always there – in your dreams, in the back of your mind, in your fears…
Thoughts on the pink…
Before cancer, I was not a fan of pink. After cancer, I’m even less a fan of pink. If you’re asking about Susan G. Komen specifically, the organization makes me furious. They could do so much more good than they do, but they’re more concerned with making money. I encourage everyone to donate to metavivor.org, as that’s the only organization I know of that uses nearly all of their proceeds to fund research. Without new treatments, we will continue to lose incredible people to this hideous disease. I’ve lost too many, I’m afraid I will lose more.
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I am in a better place now than I have ever been. I have a decent job that allows me to provide for my family, I am surrounded by wonderful people and I am at peace.
Do you have any lasting side effects- mental, physical, etc.
I am one of the lucky ones. I haven’t had to deal with any of the lasting physical side effects that others have had. The biggest mental side effect is probably the nagging worry that cancer will come back. I’m not scared of it, but I do worry about what it will do to my family if it comes back.
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
The constipation after taking odansetron for 5 days was horrible. I thought it was ripping me in two. You would never think the worst thing about cancer was poop. More specifically a lack thereof…
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word? 
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. It’s a quote from the TV series Friday Night Lights, but it has become my mantra. If you keep sight of the important things (clear eyes) and make love your priority (full hearts), you can do anything you need to do (can’t lose).