When I close my eyes, I’m instantly taken back to the amazing weekend we just celebrated in Half Moon Bay. And I’m beyond grateful that I was able to be a part of such a special series of events. 
Aaron and Jessica Beese- a phrase that was once used to refer to me and my brother, has taken on a new and beautiful meaning. It now represents my little brother and his new and gorgeous wife. The love they share for each other is magical. It was a spectacular weekend full of love, laughs, happy tears and magnificent promises. 
I gained a new sister this last weekend, more family and some new friends. And I gained memories that will last forever. I am so proud of those two. Weddings, they are the perfect reminder to love with all your heart- through the good and the bad, forever and always.

Coming off of that weekend, I jumped right back into the mom life and patient life. Yesterday was the boys’ first day of preschool and daycare. Driving them there, I felt like I was going to puke from nerves but as soon as we walked into Harlon’s class, he shouted “I love this!” I dropped them off and left feeling so proud and thankful that I get to witness these exciting days and massive milestones. 

Then I was off to Kaiser to pick up my post surgery meds and to get pre surgery blood work. It was a lot of blood….. I hate blood…… but based on my non-medical background, things (test results) look good. 

The hysterectomy and ovary removal will send me into immediate menopause. But I had a dream last night that my hot flashes were no worse than what I’m already dealing with. So maybe that’s a good sign. Fingers crossed because I am already a seriously sweaty mama. I’ve also been getting some awesome pep-talks and tips from my hyster-sister (she’s the wittier one in our relationship) and that has eased several fears. 
I’ve spent my last day before surgery lifting lots of heavy stuff because I’m going to miss that for the next couple of weeks. Just kidding, I lift shit because I’m a mom. And things need to get done. But for real, I spent the day prepping. Prepping my house (and my intestines – that ‘shit’ needs to be cleared so there more room for the doc to move and groove in there. 😜) , cleaning, shopping… all the fun stuff. 
The last few days, I’ve been extremely anxious and nervous about tomorrow’s surgery which is scheduled for 3:30pm. (That late start time means I can’t eat after 11pm tonight!!! Wahhhhh!) I’m on edge about going under again and what will be when I wake up. Will I be puking as much as I did after my mastectomy? I seriously hope not! But I’ve had a chance to sit with it all and I feel much more at peace. Because I know that I am taking this next step to be able to experience more moments like the ones I wrote about at the beginning of this post. 

Tomorrow, I most likely will not respond to any messages or texts (because I’ll be hangry as f*&@) but please know that I am so thankful for all of the love and support from everyone 💜