In the last couple of months I have noticed a lack of sass, wit, and realness in my posts. I’m not sure when it happened, I imagine it was gradual. But I’m not happy about it. I will not let C take that from me. It can take my hair, eyelashes, brows, coloring of my face, energy, ability to keep things in my stomach. But not my fucking sass, man. 

So I warn you now, it’s going back to being real. If you know me, you may be feel relieved that the ‘old Jess’ is coming back.  Similarly, if you know me, you may have just said ‘oh shit’ in your head. But as I notice the amount of blog followers growing 😳, many of you may not get my humor if we have never met face to face. So, please don’t go, I like you. But also, please don’t get offended. 

After a mini meltdown last night, followed by some self reflection, I realized that this blog has been some of the best therapy for me. And I need to get back to it in that manner. This being said, shit’s about to get real. Again. 

How do I do that?  I think I will start by imagining all of you in your underwear to make it easier for me. Less pressure. You know, that whole thing?  Let’s be honest, you’re probably reading this while you sit on the toilet in your undies anyway. No judgement here. If you have kids, this might be the only ‘me time’ you have. But most likely, I’ll just pretend I am writing in a journal that no one will read. 

But this loss of sass was not like some switch that suddenly went off and can easily be flipped back on. Instead, it’s sort of like that weird IKEA lamp we have above our kitchen table. There’s a ton of fucking weird ass light bulbs. And they have started slowly going out. But I’m pretty sure you can only get those bulbs AT IKEA. And IKEA sucks but I know that I need to go before they all burn out. So I’ll be replacing bulbs as days go by until I’m back to being a bright beacon of light…. ok, too far. But you feel me. And to be clear, I’m speaking figuratively. I don’t want to deal with IKEA, those lights are not getting replaced. 

Speaking of feel me, have you felt you? It’s March 1st and you should be feeling it on the first. And by it, I mean your boobs. For lumps. Or anything out of the ordinary for your body. In fact, men, do me a fav and check your bits too. And by bits I mean balls and boobs. Remember, men can get breast cancer too. Do it. Now. I’ll wait. 

All good? Cool. 

So really, this is just about me. But maybe you’ll get some benefits too? And maybe I’ll give you a heads up if things seem to be heading in a weird direction. Maybe I won’t. It will be like a game. 😜 In the past, I only censored myself enough so to not shock my grandparents. But let’s be real, they know me.

 With all this said, please remember this is a judgment free zone. Going both ways. So in other words, don’t be a dick. 

Let’s get weird