Little Victories

I awoke this morning all cotton mouthed and stank breath. Nasty right? Nope. I mean, yes it was. But it meant that I could taste again! Maybe not the first taste I longed for but it was a FLAVOR!

Excitement started brew along side my coffee. And sure enough, I tasted that too! I was like whaaaaaaa?!

To backup a little, I hadn’t tasted or smelled a single thing since surgery over a week ago. It was a bummer (aside from missing out on those poopy diapers). Food didn’t bring enjoyment, no smells could trigger my appetite. I was even forgetting to eat until I felt like I was about to pass out.

Yesterday, for example, I got queasy leaving the house for Har’s T-Ball game so I grabbed an apple on the way out the door. Apparently I was so fucking famished that I ripped into that sucker so hard, I LITERALLY punched myself in the nose. I thought I broke it. No lies, I thought I completely ruined all surgery fixins. John and the kids were startled, to say the least, after hearing me shout a couple of choice curse words and my obsessive staring into the mirror searching for blood before I could tell them what happened.

Last night, still thinking I set myself back from the self inflicted face punch, I was surprised to be able to taste a tiiiiiny hint of my glass of red wine. A small victory, right!?

So when we went out to eat breakfast this morning and I could smell the fresh tortillas- holy hell- I knew this was going to be a good day. I tasted each individual flavor of my meal and wore a smile the entire time. I’d forgotten how exciting food could be. And when I got home and jumped in the shower (because a shower after breakfast out is the sign of a goooood Sunday) I could even smell my body wash!

To me these are all signs that I am improving. But they are also just little things and in the scheme of life, I’m sure they seem pretty silly to celebrate. But if we skip the little stuff, we find our selves only waiting for the big things. And how boring is that? These little ‘things’ add up to be the big and beautiful ‘things’ so why not enjoy them?

Obviously, not everything counts as a victory-big or small. And not everything is enjoyable. But every experience helps to mold us as a person. And I personally feel that if we can appreciate them all- or perhaps just find even the slightest silver linings- maybe we can all live a little more joyfully.

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