Sinus Surgery, Septoplasty, Turbinectomy, Oh My

To be totally honest, I underestimated this sinus surgery and recovery. I thought that if I could handle a double mastectomy and total hysterectomy, then this would be a piece of cake. And while this surgery was not as intense, it was still fucking surgery- full of anesthesia, anxiety, meds, blood, flashbacks…

I have very little pain, more just feeling uncomfortable and I’ll take it. Doc’s notes said there was ‘tenacious mucus’, so I anticipated there’d be much more pain and swelling.

Pre & Post-Surgery Selfies

There’s barely any swelling on the outside of my face and the blood has finally slowed. I actually ended up in the ER Friday night (same day as surgery) because the bleeding would JUST. NOT. STOP. I was changing my soaked gauze mustache every 15-30 minutes.

Thankfully in the ER, the doc was able to inject some gel foam in each nostril to help stop the bleeding. These injections allowed me to sleep without fear of flowing through my pad. Yes. PAD. I know, I also thought I was done with pads since having my lady bits removed over a year ago. But nope, I was able to send John out to the CVS for one (hopefully) last feminine hygiene hurrah.

Things have improved so much that I don’t have to wear my mustache all day anymore- just after doing the nasal wash because that shit likes to drip. And like I said, the pain is minimal – unless I stab myself with my glass straw directly into my nose. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Not surprisingly, I can’t smell or taste a thing right now. Which, so far, I have found only two benefits:

1) I don’t notice how awful my mouth-breathing morning breath tastes or smells.

2) I can’t smell poop diapers- and in our house- whoever smells it first, gets to change it. 😜

I have already noticed that the sinus pressure in my teeth is gone- which is super exciting. And I am coughing up way less crap. Except for the extra special bloody chunk here and there.

And if you were wondering which Britney song played as I entered the operating room… it was “3”…. When I asked my surgeon if he’d be playing music in there, he said it’s usually reggae. Which, cool, if that’s what helps him perform his best work- DO IT. But I made it clear that in order for me to be the best patient, I needed some Britney. The anesthesiologist got to me before the surgeon did so I was already loopy when it came time for my request, I just remember asking for anything Britney. At least one song and once I was asleep, they could listen to whatever they wanted. I’d allow it.

They rolled me in and it was like mo’fo’ Britney concert! They asked why Britney and I think I said ‘why not Britney?’ Or maybe that’s what I said in my head. I don’t know- anesthesiologists are magic.

I woke up crying but not sure why. I wasn’t in pain or sad. Maybe my cold heart had a chance to thaw with my super special Kaiser heating blanket 😜

The tears have passed, most of the pain is gone, and if I could just remember to eat- I think my nausea would subside. Things are looking good.

I want to express my gratitude for all of the kind messages and check-ins. And of course, for John, my kids, and in-laws for taking care of me even with all the nastiness oozing out of my face. That’s real love. πŸ˜‰

My smile doesn’t work yet. Is this what Botox is like?
John mocking my lack of smiling ability
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