Nuclear medicine- sounds super dramatic. Just got home from my bone scan. Results will be here sometime next week. As for now, I am radioactive. Like one of those three eyed fish on the Simpsons. Harlon is at Irma’s and Wyatt is upstairs with John. Me, I’m just hanging downstairs. 🎤All by myself🎤  But it’s cool. I made sure to slam lots of baby boy time in the last few days. Any chance I could get, I was hugging and kissing on those kids. It’s hard though, Harlon wanted me to pick him up and I just can’t lift him yet. And I can’t sit on the ground to play with him like we usually do. (C Sections are bitch) I honestly feel like he’s pissed at me and there is no way to explain to him what is going on. I just kept telling him how much I love him. 💖 And I hope that he doesn’t remember any of this when he’s older. 

Another thing that has been on my mind- thank you notes. I 100% intended on writing thank you notes for all of the wonderful gifts we have received over the the last few weeks. Really I did. Promise. The cards have been purchased and are sitting on my dresser. But I just don’t think it’s going to happen. I’m sorry guys! Please know how thankful we are for everything! My days just seem to get away from me with all of the scheduled and surprise appointments. And when I’m not kicking it at Kaiser, I am trying to spend as much time with my boys as I can before chemo starts. But PLEASE know  how grateful we are for all of you and everything you all have done 😘

Last thought of the night- we all know that Mama’s got this. Well, Mama’s also got BO. John made me toss all of our bath/beauty products and has replaced them with natural ones. I’m all cool with that. Except for the fact that natural deodorants super suck! Most of my appointments involve lifting my arms and poking at my boobs and pits. At first, I would apologize, like- “Oh, I’m sorry, you know, with this kind of diagnosis, I’m just trying to avoid traditional deodorants…. Blah blah blah.” And they were all “Cool. Like yeah, no worries, I get it. Blah.” But shit man, if any of you have a natural deodorant that you recommend that REALLY works, help a sister out! ✌🏻️

We had to take Wyatt back to the pediatrician today because she was concerned that he had lost too much weight since birth at our appointment yesterday. So we had about 18 hours to pack on those lbs. 😜. The appointment went well, he was up 2 ounces from yesterday and things are looking good. Yay! 

I figured, while we were with a medical professional, I’d ask her a quick question about myself. The night before, I had a sudden chill that was insane. I couldn’t speak, my jaw was rattling, I was shivering and just could not get warm. John and my brother’s fiancé Jessica covered me with quilts, put two pairs of socks on me and we called the nurse line. They were absolutely no help. I was finally able to warm up about 15 minutes later. That was some scary shit. 

It tripped us all out so I wondered if maybe the doctor had heard of this sort of thing happening to other moms post partum. Or perhaps she’d say that it was a side effect from one of my many medications. Nah. Instead she got me an appointment downstairs in urgent care. 

At this point, Aaron and Jessica- who had been at the Drs appointment with us- had to drive back up north to get home. And John was with the boys. We agreed he would take them home to get them out of Germ Town and come back for me when I was done. 

The doctor who examined me was a little on the harsh side at first. Mind you- I am beyond sleep deprived, a little stressed, in pain and just fucking over being at Kaiser- and I started to cry. A lot. Could. Not. Stop. And she let up. She rattled off several things that could have caused my chill episode. None of them sounded cool. Haha see what I did there? Chill? Cool? Yeah? Ok

They did X Rays, blood work, pee tests, hooked me up to an IV, and gave me a super special pelvic exam. After 5 hours it was determined that I have the beginning signs of mastitis. AKA a Swollen/infected boob. I need to continue with the cabbage and ice packs and was given antibiotics and a medicine not used anymore to stop my milk supply. 

Hey, remember back when I said I am kind of a big deal around Kaiser?   😉 Well I’m only getting more popular. The doctor didn’t even have to say my name to the hospital OB and Oncocologist on call and they knew who I was when she was collaborating. Like a Kardashian or something. Sarcasm. 

Luckily my friend Sully was able to meet me at urgent care earlier in the day to take me home once I was freed or to the ER if more tests were needed. We entered a whole new friend level today. 🍈🍈 My boobs are bigger than melons. For real. If I could detach them, I could easily knock someone out if I threw them. Weird visual huh? Anyways, poor Sully had to help me stretch my tank top over my boulders. We’re like, breast friends. 👯

My boobs used to be a fun accessory. Now they are just pains in my mamms. 😅

We got discharged yesterday (9/16/16) afternoon at about 5 pm. We are all home and happy. 

As I type this, I am covered in pee and have cabbage in my bra. Sure, I can explain. The pee is not mine. At least I don’t believe it is. I’m on some hard core meds so you never truly know. The cabbage is there to help stop my milk from coming in. I had hoped to breastfeed until chemo started but with a bone scan on the horizon, I wouldn’t be able to feed for 3 days after the scan. In fact, I can’t even be near my kids for 3 days let alone feed Wyatt. Yeah, not cool but I have no choice. The radiation used for the scan is way to harmful for them. So now, I am trying to dry up the milk I had wanted to badly. It feels nice to know I had a couple of days to breastfeed Wyatt. He latched on perfectly and would have rocked it! But we have been so lucky to have some of that liquid gold donated to us by family and a few others. 

Go ahead, wrinkle your nose and head tilt. Gag if you feel the need. No judgement here. It’s a pretty crazy concept, it took me a second to be ok with it. Took John a little longer 😜 I know that it’s not how things usually go. But then again, has any of this gone even close to a preferable plan? Nope. And it’s important to me to give Wyatt some of the same nutritional benefits that Harlon had. I am so thankful to have these amazing ladies donate their hard earned milk to us! It’s just one of the millions of things I am thankful for this far. You all continue to amaze me everyday with your love, support, offers, and prayers. 

Chemotherapy has been delayed until September 29th so I can heal from the C section, and boy, is it a bitch. I am in so much pain and the meds help only slightly. The port placement is also still sore but seems to be getting better daily. 

So for now, I will continue to focus on healing. Eating right, getting rest thanks to all of our helpers, and staying positive. ✌🏻️ Oh and dodging Harlon’s head butts and eager hugs to my new cool abdominal scar.