The Dating Game

I recently shared how we met and I promised I would share our engagement story and wedding story but before we get there, I think we should run through our dating life. As many of you know, a lot of times the most exciting, uncertain, passionate part of a relationship is dating.  This is the 50 Shades of Grey part of the blog so I will channel my inner E.L. James and give you all the details.

If you read the “The other half” post you know that Jess was the instigator of our introduction and her boldness continued throughout our brand new relationship. I will never forget when she dropped me off one time and told me, “you better f’ing call me!” I was still very much wrapped up in my own life of bars, football, and hanging with the boys. I had no idea what was in front of me or how lucky I was that she put up with my tom fooleries. What made Jess special to me is that she could hang with the boys. She was always ready to deal with bad jokes, lots of booze, and even more sports on TV. The boys continuously tested her and she didn’t even flinch. She was one of those girls that could hang with the guys, wore ironic t-shirts, and put her hair in a pony tail all the while looking the perfect mixture of beautiful and cute. I think there is a country music song about this type of girl and there definitely is a movie.

We immediately hit it off and our dating life was fun. It was mainly wrapped around fun outings, lots of dinners out, bbqs, weekend trips, and all the fun typical new dating life adventures.

When I first met Jessica, her mom was in remission. Sherry was diagnosed with breast cancer before we met. Jess was still in college and she invited me to one of her art shows. Jessica’s emphasis was metal smithing. At the first art show that I attended, the piece she was showing was a bra with a silicon breast and a silver nipple.   She was wearing a white men’s tank top undershirt (PC name), jeans, and chuck taylors when I showed up to her show. I know right, the girl from the country music song.

“Can you believe they told my mom she couldn’t have a nipple. Well… I made her one!” Thats what she told me when describing her piece. We dated for roughly 6 years before we got engaged. I know what your thinking, wow you guys moved fast. It wasn’t perfect but our dating had more ups than downs and a little bit of the on again off again that happens when you are young and figuring each other out.

At one point, Jess moved back to northern California to be with her mom when the cancer returned. This was a difficult time for a 24 year old girl who had to put her life on pause while she spent the last days with her mom. Bouncing from couch to couch for three months was not easy but it’s part of her make up, bold and strong. It speaks to her strength. And when she gave me the call, I immediately flew up. She picked me up at the airport and she melted in my arms. She had been so strong for so long, and the emotions welled up and poured out. I gave her a glass jar of sand from Coronado beach. That was where Jess, Sherry, and I had spent a great weekend together and where we would spread some ashes so Sherry would always have that happiness in her life.

When Jess moved back to San Diego, we ended up moving in together. Living together was easy. We became great roommates and the dating ended and we just became us. We lived together in a converted basement in North Park and then moved to a duplex in South Park. (No, Kenny was not our neighbor). This is where we lived when the great black out of 2011 happened September 8th, 2011. It was a crazy day and full of anticipation. As all the neighbors gathered around and had an impromptu block party, there was more on my mind than when the lights were going to come back on. I was anxiously rotating a ring in my pocket, wondering how I was going to pull of my proposal.


We got our backpacks!

 All our bags are packed, we’re ready to go. We got our backpacks on and we are heading to the hospital. Jess was admitted at 3pm. Reminder that once induced, it can’t take up to two days🙃 We are so excited to be adding a new little dude to our squad. Today is all about Jess and the new addition, nothing else. Focus on what we can control today! We want to thank everyone again for the their support. #teamfilloon is unparalleled in support, love, and passion. 💯

And the struggle continues…

Image result for balance between science and faith

There is a vast space between science and spirituality. This constant struggle between the explainable and unexplained is real. This struggle could not be more true with the current situation we find ourselves. We have received a lot of advice as to how to formulate a game plan and there is valid advice from both sides. As with everything the truth lies somewhere between and it’s our job to find that balance.

Well, the other night I found that balance to say the least. It was a long day ( yes I too have 24 hour days, but the day just felt long). I was up pretty late talking with my sister when I told her goodnight and headed to bed. Jess had already went to sleep, so I got ready for bed with the lights off. As I started to jump into bed, I literally jumped into bed and my head hit the pillow. BAM!

When my head hit the pillow I noticed a sharp pain shoot threw my temple. Slightly disoriented, I began to feel up my pillow. There was something very hard on the inside. Still foggy my mind went to McQueen. MF’n McQueen. Harlon loves the movie Cars and McQueen so I figured  it was where he left him.

The object was much sharper than a toy car and when I pulled the object out I discovered that it wasn’t a car but a sharp rock! It was a pink crystal rock.  It all hit me (literally) that Jess was probably using it to heal. I am all for that type of healing, I mean the rock put me to sleep!

In the morning when I got up to leave, I asked Jess when did we start storing rocks in pillow cases. She got a good laugh out of it and I guess that’s all that matters. Laughter has been proven by science to help heal and here we are on the fulcrum of science and spirituality, finding the balance and making each other laugh (or at least making Jess laugh).