It’s finally chilly enough to wear this sweatshirt and I am pumped. Or tired. Yeah, I’m tired. But also pumped. Coffffffeeeeeeeee. 

I am not a fan of the warm weather in general but especially lately, all I have wanted was for this girl to catch a break so she could wear enough layers to cover up her C Section pooch! ☺️
Today marks my 8th Taxol treatment. Every appointment, I am asked if I have numbness or tingling in my hands or feet. Every appointment, I am beyond thankful that I can say no. Those side effects were a concern for me, I have heard the horror stories- the pain, not being able to walk or pick things up, the fact that it can last for several years after treatment. So, life is good. 

Side note-Next week, chemo will be on Wednesday instead of my regular Thursday because of Thanksgiving. 🦃 (run turkeys!) 

Last night I FaceTimed with my “crystal girl”. At least that’s how I refer to her 😊 I have followed her Instagram for a while now and have a beautiful bracelet made by her. (@iamblaireporter) Along with my bracelet came a personalized reading. She is amazingly talented in so many ways. We have been meaning to touch base to discuss a man that came to her while she was completing my order and we finally connected last night. Crazy, right? 

I believe that everyone comes in and out of our lives for a reason and she is no exception. I felt an immediate connection with her. Needless to say, she’s definitely in the the Rad Lady Posse. This girl is truly talented and gifted. Blaire gave me the most precious gift though, a visit from my mom and dad. It was beyond special- I had chills, happy tears, a couple of sad tears, and so many memories filled my head. 

I headed to yoga right after speaking with her and I was on such a high! It felt fantastic! I also got to use my new yoga mat which was the cherry on top. It’s like buttah. 

Fun Fact- no hair means no need to adjust your pony tail mid pose. The perks. 

I am currently sitting on a bench at Kaiser waiting for another appointment, meeting so many interesting peeps who want to share the sunshine. No need to worry but I am getting an ultrasound on my abdomen. I have had some pain on the right side near my ovary and the Drs just want to play it safe. Most likely, it’s just my body still healing from the Fallopian tube removal. Or maybe some scar tissue from that surgery or perhaps my endometriosis. I will report back when I have some news. Good vibes 🙌🏻

#nohairdontcare #TeamFilloon

Today is my 7th chemo treatment out of 12! Over half way there with the Taxol/Carboplatin regiment. As of right now, if all of my counts stay up, I will be starting the AC on December 22. Merry Christmas 😜And there has been a change of plans to the frequency. Instead of once every 3 weeks, I will be going in once every 2 weeks for 4 treatments total. This will have me done with chemo around early February- as long as my counts are good and nothing gets delayed. Then I will wait a month to have my surgery. I don’t have any more info on that yet, I see Plastics next Wednesday. 

Still feeling pretty great, I had some serious bone pain this last week but my nurse today said that my symptoms are probably be the worst they will be will with this cocktail. So, cool! Or as Harlon would say “Oh, keeeeewl” Monday was rough but I am feeling much better now. 

Not much else to report. Still managing to stay as positive as possible but allowing myself a shitty moment if need be. I’m really getting in the holiday spirit with all of the Hallmark movies on TV and the Christmas music on the radio- which totally helps to keep my spirits up. Even took the boys to see Santa yesterday so we could avoid the mall crazies after Thanksgiving. Harlon wasn’t having it. And I think Wyatt was just trying to poop on Santa.

My sister in law, Krissy, gifted me a Giving key this week and I am in love. My word is BRAVE. I will embrace my word and then pass it on to someone who needs it more than me when the time is right. I love it! It’s a constant reminder hanging around my neck. And when I feel I am done, someone else will receive this sweet gift. 

As I sit here in my chemo chair (surprisingly comfy and heated) watching Flip or Flop and finishing up this post, I can hear the guy next to me on the phone with what sounds like his daughter. He’s probably close to my age.  My first thought was that none of us should be here. I mean, yes, we should be getting treatment to get better so we can be with our loved ones. But overall, this shit should not be happening- to any of us. Old, young, male, female. Something needs to change. So let’s work on that. 👍🏻

That’s not me. That’s not my story. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that. 

The internet is a great resource but it can also send you to a deep, dark place. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others in some situations. When I hear about someone who has been through any of this, especially when the person was/is also stage 3, triple negative, I almost immediately compare myself to them. How are they doing? Will I have the same outcome? The good and the bad. 
Then I remind myself that since the beginning, when I was first diagnosed, I told myself “I am not my mother”. 
Now don’t get me wrong, she was an amazing, strong, loving, overall fantastic woman. She was my best friend and I miss her everyday. But her diagnosis is not mine. Her outcome is not mine. 

Each day, I’m writing my own page and working towards a happy ending. 

No matter your current situation, let’s all try and remember that we are writing our own stories. We may not be able to choose everything that happens to us but we can choose how we respond. 

Today’s page in my Book O Life- sixth chemo treatment complete. My platelets went back up but my white blood cells are down again. I was still able to get treatment though. Yeah! Feeling great, half way done with this Taxol/Carboplatin regiment! I have a consult with Radiation Oncology later today to plan out what’s coming in the new year. 

I have also been getting way comfortable with my new look. I am digging the new ‘do I’m rocking. Being bald is chilly at times but so convenient! And I am getting much better with my makeup stuff. My eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning but luckily there is still enough to work with. Thank goodness for mascara! 

If anything, chemo is giving me a bomb ass completion! 😜