b_inspired

I met Katie Burke : Master Motivator and Philanthropist back in October of 2017 when she hosted a Mexico retreat for survivors. That weekend was life changing for me and I carry her teachings with me always. She has inspired me more than she will ever know. Here is her story.

Katie B’s mother, Kathy, passed away at the age of 43 due to breast cancer when Katie was in fourteen. Watching her mom take her last breath, Katie B was fueled to find the meaning of each inhale we’re given. “b_inspired” was born as the Latin root of the word inhale is to “inspira” -and Katie B was on a mission to B the inspiration people needed to live their lives to the fullest. Katie B has always taken inner transformation seriously. Katie has pursued a BA in International Conflict Resolution (Ni Hao, Ma?), along with Master Yoga/Fitness Certifications (Namaste’) from the best institutions in her space, including 30 Teacher Trainings through CorePower Yoga, Spirit Yoga Studios, and now leading her own international Yoga Alliance 200 Hour RYS training in places like Mexico and Belize. The fire in her spirit took a giant pause when she woke up in 2015 with Bells Palsy, and the right side of her face was paralyzed. With a broken face, Katie B gave up definitions of societal normal beauty and her workouts for the physical body because a deeper, more connected work is to find the depth of the soul, not just skin deep.

Katie B believes that life happens for you, not to you. Everything in life is a teacher if you’re willing to find the lesson and grace. Through her 501c3 b_inspired, Katie B’s mission is to empower you to believe anything is possible for you. Through international retreats, global speaking engagements and seminars, she helps give back to the world raising over $75k for underprivileged populations. Katie B not only empowers over 600 live students weekly in San Diego, but she also curates “Monday Mantras” every week through her social media accounts of over 25k students all around the world. This provides them with the opportunity to connect with her on a personal level and join the conversation with the others in the community. Katie B & ‘B_Inspired’ hosts and fundraises yearly for a free retreat for 30 cancer survivors and has raised over $50,000 for breast cancer research.

Program aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!

The latin root of the word “inhale” is to “inspira” – to inspire. We inhale (inspire) and exhale (expire) hundreds of thousands of times a day and rarely think about this automated biological response. At 14 years old, I watched Kathy Burke, my badass 43-year-old mama, take her last breath. I knew that cancer had taken her breasts, but I didn’t know it would take her life. As a strong Jersey woman, I never realized she was actually going to die. Silly, huh? But watching her chest rise, and then watching it fall, and never rise again, switched something on inside my little adventurous heart. I remember thinking, “That’s it? That’s all we are? One final exhale?” As if I wasn’t already “doing” enough as a pre-pubescent human, I decided to “DO” everything I could. Class President, Cheerleading, NJ State District Board of Key Club (dorky volunteer club), moved out on my own at 17, and the list goes on. I became the best human-doing there was. Squeezing every last inch out of a life I knew was far too short, I was unstoppable.

Born in ’87, I feel incredibly lucky to have lived through high school without smartphones (it’s crazy, no GPS?!?) and with the brand new Nokia phones where we played snake at lunch. This was before Adderall swept schools like a hurricane of extra unnecessary thoughts, and made a generation of extreme DO-ers & anxiety-filled thinkers. With a promise of getting out of ‘Jersey, I moved myself to San Diego State University. My degree in International Security and Conflict Resolution traveled me to the San Sebastian hills of Peru to work at a battered women’s shelter all the way to utilize my Mandarin in the rice fields of Jiangxi, China working in a poverty alleviation program. Checking all of society’s proverbial boxes and then some, I graduated and started working for a nonprofit that helped support breast cancer patients. I had “DONE” it all. Now what? I kept filling my plate with the next accomplishment, the next checkbox. I was even doing fulfilling work and still felt disconnected, unfocused, and disempowered.

On average, 60,000 thoughts flood through your head in a day. Researchers say, 59,000 are repeated from the day before. The running playlist of the same/same anxiety and worries plagues the mind of the average person daily. If you asked me what ran my recorded track back in 2008, I’d have no idea. But I do know what slowed them down. Running this statistic out farther, you can hold 3-5 thoughts at one time in your head. Simultaneously, you can be thinking “I feel the seat against my leg, I’m cold, I’m hungry, I hear my friend speaking to me.” Fueled by a debilitating break up with my first love (as all millennial yogis begin) I wandered into a CorePower Yoga to try some fitness style hot yoga (if only Trevor, my long-haired, green-eyed, and mediocre guitarist ex-boyfriend could know what he caused.) Sweat tickled my armpits in a teasing way of making me move when I wasn’t supposed to in that “dead person pose” at the end of class. As the teacher invited us to take a “good morning stretch” I sat up, putting my hands awkwardly at my heart like I was back in Catholic school. Yet, something was different. I felt calmer. I was only focusing on what the teacher said. I could actually feel my chest rise and fall, noticing the fact that I was breathing. I was “inspira”-ing… inhaling deeply.

Tool #1: Subtract thoughts to add clarity. We can never stop thoughts completely, but we can slow them down. The key isn’t to stop thinking as much as it is to recognize you are not your thoughts and slow down the ones that don’t serve you. By just focusing simply on “I am breathing in” and “I am breathing out”, you’ve already slowed down thoughts and focused on a neutral one. That neutral thought blocks other thoughts that don’t serve you. When you’re focused on a neutral thought, there’s space for you to hear what’s really going on, without your filter of insecurity. From that one jumping point, I noticed my breath, just like I watched my mom take her last. How had I forgotten? Maybe I had never learned. After graduating their yoga teacher training, I started spreading the simple calmness I felt from the practice into my nonprofit workplace. People noticed a difference in me. I was more focused, more present. What they saw in me was infectious, and they wanted to be taught the tricks of the trade. Little did they know it wasn’t rocket science, just paying attention to your breath. Taking a leap of faith, I left my 9-5 gig to follow this calmness. I had no idea how I was going to make money, so I decided to host donation based classes.

My first real life’s lesson in slowing down paid in insane exponential growth. I was making three times the amount of money I was at my corporate job, because people kept showing up. Because I was doing something that I felt I was growing in, it made me happy. That happiness created presence, which my students felt loved and heard. That presence created an insane following that 9 years, over 5,000 classes later, I am living proof doing less actually gains more. I started living as a human BEING, not a human doing.

On top of my yoga career, in 2015, I had been certified and taught everything from kids yoga to becoming a Master Personal Trainer. I was giving and giving and giving. Somewhere along the way I got back to checking boxes. This time, yoga/fitness boxes. But, doing yoga means you’re at peace, right?

Tool #2: Subtract expectations, gain self worth. My right eye was stuck open. My lips stuck about an inch apart. I looked like I got a botched botox job on just the right side of my face. I could feel everything, but nothing was moving. When the ER doctor told me I had Bells Palsy, the word “palsy” hit me like a ton of bricks. I was the healthiest person I knew, right? Through tears I texted my boyfriend Anthony, “I am paralyzed in the right side of my face, and the doctor said only 80% of people heal from it.” He immediately replied in his sarcastic manner, “behb, you’re special, but not 20% special.” I have giant horse teeth and a big mouth. My smile is huge. My paralysis forced my successful public figure yogi self “Katie B Happyy” to only have half of a smile. Where I had for years depended on my youthful flexibility and athletic outer shell, I now felt gypped by my body. I had to hold my lips together to even drink or eat food, or say “f” and “p” sounds. Broken in so many ways, I cleared my schedule of everything that wasn’t teaching. I went to healers, acupuncture treatments, chiropractic adjustments, massages, and just relaxed. Bells palsy is an inflamed nerve so I was trying to de-flame everything. Instead of hiding from the public eye like so many do, I chose to keep teaching, beautifully broken. I cried with my students when they reacted to my face, I showed up with my whole heart asking for help. #puffyeyedandpowerful Something shifted. Because I was doing a lot less, somehow more flowed in. My persona of “super yogi” fizzled away, and yet I related to so many of my students on the mutual plane of despair. For the first time ever, my retreats filled. Without even knowing, my relationship was saved. My boyfriend felt needed and purpose filled in our relationship because I took the time to look him in the eyes and ask for help. I gained thousands of devoted followers that wanted to cheer me on, and I replied to them all. My sole focus was healing and my students, and the universe gave me more financial gain in my retreat business than ever before. No instagram ad could have gotten me the same surplus as me simply being present with people and asking about them.

Tool #3: Subtract accomplishments, add valuable relationships. My eye started to blink the second month in, and eventually my smile slowly worked at the end of six months. Three years out, I am left with this overwhelming lesson that life will constantly slow you down even if you don’t ask for it. Every time it does, I’ve gained so much more. From a successful career leading yoga adventures around the world, to authentic relationships, there’s incredible presents in presence. They always say people won’t remember what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel. We have this unique opportunity as humans to take responsibility for the energy we bring to any space. Whether you’re in line at the grocery store or sitting too close to someone on an airplane, out of the trillions of possible interactions you could have had, you landed with this one! Why? Who knows. Be present. Own the vibration you’re bringing forth and you never know the doors that will open because you slowed down enough to be with a human. Out of the expectation of human doings, when we human BE with people, you can start to enjoy every inhalation, and discover the reason you woke up today.

What are your go-to acts of self care?

Here are my 6 Techniques to Subtract to Add for a More Meaningful Life

1. No Screen Time: Take back your day. The thirty minutes you first wake up and before bed are for you. The minute you pick up that phone, you are responding to a red notification that is someone else’s request or watching someone else tell your subconscious you’re not enough on social media. Take the time to journal and manifest. Get lost in fantasy about the good things that could happen in the future. The universe wants to work in your favor, but it responds only to the extent that you’re clear. When I was single as a new yoga teacher, I didn’t know what I was looking for. The minute I wrote down specific character traits of what I’d hope for in a guy, he didn’t just appear… he was already there, cleaning my yoga studio for trade, I just didn’t see him until I wrote specifics. There was a study of kindergarten kids that do Teddy Bear Tummy Time. Every morning they put teddy bears on their tummies as they lay on the ground and do 10 rounds of breathing as the teddy bears rise and fall. The study proved the children, after only 10 rounds of conscious deep breathing, were more attentive, scored better on testing, and were more focused on their work. They started the day more grounded.

2. Spend Time in Gratitude. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I send my legs up the wall (amazing for reversing varicose veins and sends fresh oxygen-rich blood flow to the heart) and I start imagining something in my life I’m insanely grateful for. For me, it’s my little guido nephew, Lorenzo. He’s an adorable kind three-year-old Jersey Italian that wears tracksuits, Nikes, and gold chains. When I think about him my entire body swells up with love. Take moments of “presence pause” and think of 1-2 things you’re grateful for. There is a channel of happiness we each have the capacity to tune into whenever we want. When I take 30 seconds to close my eyes and think of something I’m grateful for, my entire physical body changes. I get out of the stress response (sympathetic state) and go into what we call the rest and digest state (parasympathetic state) – where we are less reactive and more reaffirming. Sometimes when I’m frustrated I’m bloated or I woke up with a hangover, I remember the years I was paralyzed. I close my eyes, come back to gratitude for the fact that my face works and my smile works. Then, I am less angry at myself and therefore less angry at others.

3. Spend Time Giving. Then I consider that feeling of gratitude, and I send that love out to someone else. I imagine a green light (heart chakra) from my heart streaming towards theirs. I often envision my Dad in Pennsylvania or my brother over in Vietnam. I think of sending them love energy. Consider this- we never doubt the fact that a written message, in a tiny box we hold in our hands, will magically fly from my box to another person’s handheld box anywhere on the planet. So why do we doubt the power of intention/ prayer? They run on the same vibrational frequencies. You are powerful beyond measure. Kinetically, something changes when you think of others. Your mind changes from its crazy hamster wheel of 60k thoughts about yourself and shifts to someone else. If someone is really depressed, one of the best ways to get them out of their head is to get them into giving. When I lost my mom to cancer, the simple act of doing the Race for the Cure helped me stay focused and in control. We started a memorial tubing event down the Delaware River the first Saturday of every August in her memory. She loved tubing because she could drink Coors light and pee at the same time. It started with our family tubing in bright pink tubes back in 2002 and has continued 17 years strong hosting hundreds down the river and raising over $50,000 for breast cancer research and survivor healing weekends. Now, with the money, my 501c3 b_inspired funds two free retreats for cancer survivors to help them figure out what’s next after cancer. In a bigger way, that simple act of giving helps me THINK LESS about loss and do more for the greater picture.

4. Change Your Space. Travel gets me remembering how big the world is. Whenever I feel my 60k thoughts spiraling into a tornado of self-doubt and indecision, I remember what it feels like to meet people of different cultures, see worlds you’ve never seen before. If you can’t travel to Africa, try a town 30 miles away… just wander the local streets and see new people. Every time I feel depressed, I simply drive 30 minutes over the San Diego border and head down to the orphanage we volunteer at. We play with these kids and I forget my thousands of emails to respond to, and the made-up deadline stresses I have. Kids force presence out of you, and showing up and playing with kids who have no direct mentorship allows you to feel connected to the greater picture. If you’re reading this, you are lucky enough to have had the monetary luck and mentorship to be in a space where your stresses are the first world made. Getting out of that routine reminds you that 98% of the world lives off less than a dollar per day, and has been happy in many ways since the dawn of human existence.

5. Keep Your Head Up. Looking at your phone is the new yawn. Every time there’s an awkward pause or a moment to fill, we swipe. Make it a mission today to look at three people’s eyes authentically. See them. Everyone just wants to be seen. Instead of seeing people through the lens of Instagram, why not see them via the window to their soul? I dare you to hold eye contact for at least 30 seconds with someone. How many times have I decided to strike up a random conversation and realized the universe needed me to have that convo? I remember sitting at the desk at my yoga studio checking people in, and this student prodding me to give her my attention. I was on my phone responding to the endless notifications and requests, and she keeps asking questions. Frustratingly, I looked up, and for a moment, I saw my mom’s calm brown eyes in hers. I saw my dead mother’s heart in her words and I felt hugged by an old friend, mama, I hadn’t seen in a while. My entire day was changed and I that day I signed up 4 people for one of my trips simply because I was connected.

6. Stay connected to your mission. Every morning I reaffirm my intention. For example, today, I just want to make sure people feel supported. Then, my attention all day is placed on making that happen. If my mission in life is truly to make everyone feel like anything is possible for them, then my day becomes a fun adventure into figuring out how to enable people with my actions, words, and feelings. What is the point of this life unless we give it meaning? We are all out there searching for the same things- love, connection, to feel a part of something greater. The only way we feel purpose filled is if we define daily what meaning is for us. Watching my mom take her last breath was the catalyst for me defining every day with my meaning. What is the reason we were so blessed to wake up again? Literally, all we are is this breath, and the minute we take our last exhale, our last expiration, this life is over. Every day becomes a journey to define the breath.

Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word? 

Life happens FOR you, not to you. Everything in life is a teacher. When we see each experience as happening for us, the world starts to be this mysterious playful thing where we can figure out the clues and look for signs like purple butterflies. Perceivably negative and positive things have equal probability of coming true, so why not stay in a space of wonder instead of worry?

How can we help?

You can donate to the 501c3 here: www.binspired.life/donate

How can we contact you? 

http://www.binspired.life/ Email: katieburkeyoga@gmail.com Instagram: @katiebhappyy Facebook Youtube Video of Self-Venture Retreats

Self Care

How do you practice acts of self care?

You hear the term often, I’m sure. In Insta-Land alone there are over 16 million posts hash-tagged #selfcare. So it seems like we are aware of the idea but do we really know what it means to practice self care? And more importantly, are we taking the time to practice?

If you aren’t familiar with the idea, self care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness. Or as psychologist Agnes Wainman explained, self-care is “something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.” And the practice can vary drastically from person to person. With our crazy busy lives, overly packed schedules, and nearly constant comparisons to strangers on the internet (if you don’t participate in the last one, damn you’re good because that shit can be hard) self care often gets over looked.

While writing this, I was inspired to revisit my Simplify post of things that make me happy and ways to practice acts of self care. You can check it out here.

But before getting too far ahead, I think it’s also important to know what self care is not. First off- it is not selfish. Remember how when you get on a plane and the flight attendant reminds you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others? They get it… because, really, what good are you going to be if you’re passed out and slumped under the tray table in front of you with your face smashed into your carry on backpack? You’re not. No good. Not unless you take care of your self first.

Self care also isn’t something you force upon yourself- but instead, is a compilation of things that naturally bring a smile to your face, things that make you feel full of goodness. And once you are ‘good’, you can then let your cup of goodness overflow to others… because you can’t pour from an empty cup. You feel me? I should also note, to be super clear- It is not something that we force ourselves to do just because it seems right. If you hate bubble baths- don’t take a bubble bath! Your self care, your decision. It is not necessarily what others have defined as self care.

This practice can be woven into your daily life. For example- giving yourself permission to let go of those persistent energy vampires in your life can be incredibly empowering and healthy. If you walk away from someone feeling completely drained each and every time, it might be a sign to let go, simply because that energy suck can lead you to being incapable of caring for yourself.

The practice can also be something that you schedule in to make sure you don’t overlook YOU. An example of this might look like scheduling an hour a day to do something that truly brings you joy. Or scheduling a massage once a month if that’s what tickles your fancy. Remember, self care is necessary in order to keep us in tip top shape- so release the guilt that might try and creep in and trust that taking care of yourself is also the best way to take care of and serve others.

Some of my favorite acts of self care include:

Epsom Salt Baths

Yeah, I’m that bitch. No shame in my game, I love a hot, half an hour bath in silence. Or maybe with a little John Mayer playing guitar only for me.

Journaling

Just getting ideas out of my head and on ‘paper’ releases so much stress for me. When I write things out, it has the ability to take away the power a negative thought may have had over me. Journaling can be extremely therapeutic… once you get past the feeling of being a young teeny-bopper pouring her little heart out.

Giving Myself Permission to Say No

“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no”– Jen Hatmaker. Preach sister. If I can only half ass it, or not give it my full attention, or do it just to bitch about it the entire time- it might be best that I bow out in the beginning to avoid resentment and stress later on. I’m learning to really dig boundaries.

Alone Time

My alone time is sacred. It is when I calm down, process, and recharge. I love quiet and I require time where I can focus my energy on only me. Working, being a parent, a partner, etc. are all wonderful things but they can also take a lot out of you. Setting aside alone time to just BE is be-utiful. For me- sometimes this looks like waiting until everyone is asleep and organizing and consolidating my many sticky notes from the week, preparing my schedule for the upcoming month, organizing my to-do lists and upcoming projects, or just taking a moment to step back and re-evaluate priorities. And sometimes it looks like me… sitting there… in a locked bathroom… savoring the silence.

Being Outside

Connecting with nature may sound hippy-dippy and very woo-woo but I dig it. If possible, I take my shoes off and connect with the earth, face up to the sky so to take in the sun or the moon. Being outside is an instant refresher for me. And if I can hear birds chirping and singing, it’s an added bonus. No shits- I will literally hug a tree if it feels right.

Also a Rock Hugger

Affirmations and Belly Breathing

Affirmations are my jam. I have been using them for years to help manifest positives in my life but also as a form of self care. When things seem out of my control or overwhelming, I say to myself “Breathe, everything is happening exactly as it should be” or I might remind myself that “I am enough”. Affirmations paired with deep belly breaths can help calm the nervous system, alleviate stress, and improve confidence. Plus, breathing is pretty important to living, so there’s that. * Special thanks to my pal Jacqueline who introduced me and the tiny humans to this number one hit.

Sweatpants

Not just anything without a button and zipper, I mean like early 90’s PE clothes sweatpants. Not leggings, not swishy pants, not PJ pants. I’m talking Straight. Up. Sweatpants. They just make me happy. Pair them up with an undisturbed binge sess’ of a Dr. Pimple Popper marathon… that, right there, that is my ultimate self care.

What self care is not for me: Spending money I don’t have in the name of self care just to stress later and require more intense self care. I mean, I’m all for Treat Yo’ Self as long as Yo’ Self can afford it. There are lots of free and inexpensive ways to take care of your mind, body, soul. And it won’t look the same for everyone.

Oh, and to be clear- It’s definitely not being a total bitchwad and labeling it as self care. Because, rude.

If you are struggling with what self care looks like for you, start by jotting some ideas down. Get your mind used to the idea that self care is not selfish and instead, so very necessary. Eventually your mind will begin to recognize what fills your cup and ideas will start to flow.

If you already practice, what are your preferred acts of self care? Comment below… because you never know when sharing your story might be the ceremonial fire lighting under someone else’s ass.

Day 2 of Chemo

Today was my second chemo treatment. Feeling good as of now. Again, I was super amped from the steroids but they helped me get a lot done around the house! To pass the time, I colored in my adult coloring book. Accidentally blamed John for a fart by the old man across from me- I’m still giggling about it. And we watched so many episodes of Flip or Flop. Today was only Taxol, no Carboplatin. I won’t get that additional sucker until my next “cycle” which is technically my 4th treatment. Make sense? Carbo will be added every 4th time. Apparently that’s the one that usually causes nausea so here’s hoping for only a tired and achy reaction. 

On to other things, the other night while walking home from the park, I had a mini impromptu meltdown when we passed the kids and parents getting ready for football practice. I was watching the other moms pull up in their cars, SUVs, and mini vans and I freaked out. I watched them pull their chairs out of their trunks and rush over to the fields to settle in. That’s when I realized that I want that so bad. I have talked so much shit on mini vans but I would cruise up in one in a heartbeat if it meant I could be around to watch my boys participate in something.  It was one of those cry/ laughs. Have you seen that commercial? It’s a guy talking about laughing and then sobbing and how it’s a medical condition. Looks like a joke and then you realize it’s a real commercial for some drug? Well I felt like that guy. Crying and then laughing and then crying…. so on and so on. 

It was during that moment, I decided that I want to be team mom. And room mom. And plan those cabin vacations in the winters and beach vacations in the summers. Anything to make sure that I have all of the quality time possible with my family. John was sure to add on that we will need to do lots of beach camping at San Elijo state beach. I am so down. 

For the most part, I am confident and fearless. But like any human, I have my weaker moments. I can usually smile through the fear and tears but sometimes the fear sneaks through. This is fucking scary shit. And I realize how real it is. And how fucked up the whole situation is. Not just for me but for my husband, kids, family, and friends. 

Thank goodness John was able to bring me back and calm me down pretty quickly.  I would have looked like a crazy lady laugh/ crying the whole walk home. He’s so positive, I’m lucky I get to spend my days with such a supportive and loving person. Even through my crazy.  ❤️