Tag: motherhood

My Friend Jamie

.Reading time 6 minutes.
I met Jamie via the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…
Tell us your story / stats:
At 5:30 p.m. on Valentine’s Day in 2007, as a 27-year-old, I should have been getting ready for a romantic dinner with my husband—where we would celebrate my 14-week pregnancy. Instead, I was in a doctor’s office, learning that I had invasive ductal carcinoma. I hadn’t been too worried a few days earlier, when I first felt the lump while taking a bath. I told my husband that this was a glaring omission on the part of the editors of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Instead of dinner, I was listening to an oncologist explain that I had to start chemotherapy right away. Trying not to panic, I immediately asked how I could possibly get chemo while I was pregnant. I’d given up coffee, and now my doctor wanted to pump me full of poisonous chemicals? It seemed crazy. But after seeking out second and third opinions and doing my own fact-finding, we agreed to go forward. At 27 years old and 14 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, a particularly aggressive form, so waiting until I gave birth was not a viable option. Even though I had carefully researched my decision, once the therapy began I was paralyzed by fear that my baby was being harmed by the harsh medication. To bring peace of mind, my healthcare team came up with an innovative solution: weekly ultrasounds of my baby. During a time when I was losing my hair, my toenails, and my fingernails, it was a way for me to see he was okay in there. As long as he was still alive, I told myself everything would work out. I was six months into my ten month chemo regimen when our son, Blake, was born perfectly healthy. I imagine every cancer survivor is changed by the experience—but most of them don’t get the gift of a child at the end.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I am a mom, a coffee-junkie, a wife, a wanderlust, a friend, a neighbor, a lawyer, Hamilton-obsessed, a professor, a baseball fan, a runner, policy-optimist, and full of hope.
Thoughts on the pink… 
I am so grateful and proud of the work of these small but mighty non-profits, helping people living with and beyond cancer: National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship at http://www.canceradvocacy.org , The Pink Fund at http://www.pinkfund.org , Triage Cancer at http://www.triagecancer.org , Get In Touch at http://www.getintouchfoundation.org .
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
This is non-responsive to this question but . . . When I was first diagnosed, I would pray to God and ask him for kindergarten. I wanted to be there for Blake’s first day of kindergarten. Today, Blake is 11 years old and in the 5th grade. God is good, science rocks, and I am one lucky lady. The hardest part of joining the sisterhood, especially the sisterhood of young women with cancer, has been the tremendous loss and grief. My life is richer beyond measure for knowing these women and being blessed to call them my sister-friends, but my heart and soul aches for the loss.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
Access to healthcare. Families facing a cancer diagnosis, or any other chronic medical condition, shouldn’t have to wonder whether they can pay their rent or health insurance deductible this month. I am grateful for the work that organizations like the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship (NCCS), Triage Cancer, and the Pink Fund are doing to reduce the financial toxicity facing too many patients today.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
I absolutely had a C mantra I said to Blake while I was pregnant in treatment. It is not original … I stole it from my favorite movie, Why I Wore Lipstick To My Mastectomy: We are the sky and nothing can touch us … We are the sky and we will remain unchanged.
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
Hope lives . . . my hope is an 11 year old boy who has stolen my heart. 
*** Jamie kept a personal blog during treatment which may be helpful to other young mothers finding themselves on this journey-  www.pregnantwithcancer.blogspot.com.

My Friend Jessica

.Reading time 4 minutes.

I met Jessica through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats:

I was 14 weeks pregnant with my first child. We were thrilled! We had been trying for years and I was finally pregnant! I was watching TV one Sunday evening when I felt a tingling sensation in my left breast. I touched it and there it was… a lump. I immediately consulted Dr. Google and the results I found were cancer. I freaked out and started crying and by the end of the week I was diagnosed with stage 2B inter ductal carcinoma breast cancer. I was 34 years old and have no family history of the disease. I was upset, but I put those scary feelings aside and I knew I had to be strong for my baby. I waited so long to meet him and I wasn’t going to let anything bring me down, not even cancer. The next day after my cancer diagnosis I went to Babies R Us to start my baby registry because I wanted to focus on the future and the happy things happening in my life. My treatment included six rounds of chemotherapy while my son was still in the womb, I gave birth, had a lumpectomy two days later, followed by twelve weeks of Taxol, and finished with 36 rounds of radiation. Today, I am on Tamoxaphen, Lupron, and I’m “cancer free.”
Where are you at in life now? Mentally, physically, emotionally…
I struggle with depression, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. I see a therapist on a regular basis and take Effexor for my depression/anxiety. Sometimes it takes everything in me to get out of bed every morning. I cope by moving my body, being creative, and learning new things. I love to read and listening to podcasts.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I love being creative! I am passionate about photography, music, journaling, makeup, fashion, and home decor. When I was younger I was creative, but I decided to pursue business when I was in college because I didn’t want to be a “starving artist.” Creativity fills my bucket! I thrive on creativity and it’s something I didn’t make time for before cancer, but today I make it a priority.
Do you have any short term or long term goals that you are actively working towards?
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! I’m having fun exploring different career options. I love helping people and a dream of mine is to start a non-profit for cancer mama retreats.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now? 
I’m working on rebranding my blog to incorporate other topics besides cancer. Cancer will always be a part of my life, but I’m so much more than my diagnosis! Follow my instagram @joyfulaftercancer if you are interested in home interiors, makeup, motherhood, mental wellness, and breast cancer awareness!

My Friend Kathleen

.Reading time 8 minutes.

I met Kathleen through the Kick Ass Cancer Mamas Facebook group.  Here is her story…

Tell us your story / stats: 
I was 29, married 2 years and expecting our first child when I was diagnosed with stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer. It started as a red swollen breast and I ignored it thinking I was just getting ready to make milk. I found a lump months down the road which I had my OB check out and she sent me for an ultrasound immediately, which led to a needle guided biopsy and skin punch biopsy, then diagnosis. We did a baseline ultrasound on baby prior to chemo and found cancer in my liver as well. I had one chemo and then was induced. I did weekly chemo for 7 months before achieving no evidence of disease. I had my ovaries and breasts removed and will continue to get treatment for life, including daily pills, infusions and shots every 3 weeks, along with scans to check my heart due to potential damage from infusions. I have had no evidence of disease for over 3 years now.
C aside, tell us about yourself. What makes you, YOU!
I’ve always been a relentlessly positive person. I quit my job as a wedding cake designer in Seattle to spend more time with my son.
What went through your head when you were first diagnosed?
How unfair it was, getting to bring a little life into the world without getting to stick around to get to know who that kid would become.
What are some of your personal coping skills during difficult times?
I think I am still working on that… I try to talk about it but end up putting walls around the problem and not dealing with it. I try and breathe and stay in the moment, remember all the good.
Tell us about your support system. Or lack of. Where do you get your support from?
My family and friends. Some people came out of nowhere to be big supporters, other people dropped out of my life. I try not to take it personally and realize how hard it would be to be witness to the situation. I am super thankful for my husband, mom, and sister in laws. My son is obviously a huge motivation for me.
Many people are unaware that you can do chemotherapy while pregnant. Thoughts and personal experience?
I trusted in my oncologist. I remember the nurse administering it said she made my onc swear up and and down she wouldn’t be hurting my baby. My onc said it wouldn’t cross the placenta and it didn’t. I was bald when my son was born and he had a full head of hair, that was really reassuring to see.
What have you learned about yourself since dx?
That you don’t realize how strong you are, how much you can endure, until you don’t have a choice.
What do you believe is a common misconception about being diagnosed? Or something that you’d like the general population to know about C.
I had no idea about stage 4/metastatic cancer. I thought breast cancer wasn’t a big deal anymore. Got a huge reality check when I was told metastatic was incurable. I also didn’t know there was a breast cancer without a lump.  I would urge everyone to be aware of any changes in their breasts and to always get it checked out.
Thoughts on the pink… 
I hate the pink washing that is still occurring. We need real awareness, awareness of the different forms, and stages, but more than that, we need research for metastatic cancer, it is the only breast cancer that kills. It kills when it spreads, yet it gets a tiny % of research funding. Wouldn’t you think the majority of research funds should go to the part that actually kills us?
Where are you at in life now?  Mentally, physically, emotionally…
Fairly healthy, I’m at a healthy weight and recently had reconstruction. I spend my days trying to make sure my son will grow up to be a good little person, toughest job in the world, being a mom, and that takes its toll, but I am working on taking good care of my mental health.
If you could send a message to yourself from 10 years ago… how would that go?
I would tell me to cut off my boobs! I don’t have genetics for cancer, just bad luck.
What are you passionate about? Is this different than what you were passionate about before dx?
I’m passionate about raising a good kid. Before C, I was passionate about making good cakes. I had a few in magazines, I was starting to feel like I had “made it” in the cake world, and then I decided it was a waste of time. I don’t know how much time I have in this world, I want to spend it with my family.
Do you have a favorite quote, mantra, phrase, or curse word?
“Hope always” and “time is precious, waste it wisely”
Whenever the day comes to travel to the “great beyond”, what do you hope people remember about you?
My smile and dedication to my family.
Would you like to share one of your shittiest moments/memories? The raw side of C.
I found out my cancer was “incurable” the Friday before my baby shower. I got to open up all these gifts thinking I wouldn’t be around to see the little man these things were for. I got a 9mo suit and wondered if that is what my son would wear to my funeral. The next day was our maternity photo shoot where we had to be all smiles when really we were devastated on the inside. When we got home from that we let ourselves break down. It was a very raw moment.
What’s the latest happenings in your life now?
Life is mostly good… I have a “Metastatic Mom” Facebook page but I don’t update it much since fortunately I haven’t had much to update! Clear scans every 4 months is what usually gets posted these days.
If people take away anything from your story, it would be…
Be aware of any changes in your body, be your own advocate, don’t waste your time on stupid shit.

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