I couldn’t help but laugh when I had to sign away my left and right breast at my pre-op appointment. Literally, I signed a form that allows the surgeon to remove both the left and right breast. It’s not funny. I don’t know why I laughed, John and the nurse didn’t seem as amused. I’m guessing most people are pretty upset when signing that form. I wasn’t happy about it either but I have no other choice and it’s time to do the damn thing. 

As of right now, I am scheduled as an outpatient, meaning I will go home the same day of surgery. Of course, this can all change depending on how things go. I wouldn’t be mad if they made me stay overnight. I mean, no matter where I am, I’ll be drugged up on pain meds and uncomfortable so why not be in a place where they can monitor me….and nurses can do the dirty work of emptying my drains. 

Yes, drains. I will have at least a couple of drains coming out of me. This is where nurse John will play a major roll and will be helping me empty them. The drains will stay in as long as I am still producing “stuff”. 

Oh and if anyone was interested, my white blood cell count……..went down even more after my second blood draw. So I am back on those shots to stimulate the growth of white blood cells. Only 3 days worth so not too bad. Medicine is pretty crazy huh? 

Today was the first day I actually got a nervous stomach (and that weird urge to pee) when I thought about surgery. Luckily today I also had the pleasure of meeting with a bunch of fellow survivor sisters. I’ve said it before, people come into your life right when you need them. Today was no exception. These women, in all stages of survivorhood, made me feel powerful. And so supported. I am beyond thankful to have met them all. 
Tomorrow, John and I will be leaving the boys with his parents for a week. It makes me sad and I will totally miss them but they don’t need to see me like that. I won’t be able to hold them so it would just be a tease… for us all. That week separation might just be the hardest part of the whole surgery thing. Pain- I can tolerate. Not having my babies will be rough. Not having my boobies, well shit, that’s going to be rough too. 

Tuesday, I’m ready for you.