Surgery Follow Up Rescheduled 

Yesterday, John removed my bandages. I thought I was ready to share a picture but I’m not there yet. The day will come and I’ll give a warning, as it will for sure make lots of you uncomfortable. I’ve always said I’d be honest… I just have to do it on my terms. 

The bandages had been making me feel extremely claustrophobic and they were uncomfortable. So I took some Tylenol and an Ativan and sat down… for fear of passing out. John removed the bandages away from a mirror. I had him describe what he saw. Where were the incisions and stitches? Was there blood? Was I swollen? What did he think? 

When I finally got the nerve, I stood up and walked towards the mirror. I wish that I could say it was easy to look at. I’m not proud of the first words I said or my first thoughts. Thank goodness for John. He reminded me that I would never say those things to any of my survivor sisters and he was right. Instead, I would see their strength and be proud of them.  I allowed myself yesterday to pout, cry, and be upset. Today is a new day. 

Also today, I was scheduled to see my surgeon for a follow up and to get the pathology report. Unfortunately, my surgeon was held up in another surgery and, last minute (like we were going to walk out of the house soon) we had to reschedule my appointment for Wednesday. 

These drains are driving me nuts so I’m really hoping they can be removed when I see her. They are itchy and they tug on my skin. I also have to “milk” the drains to keep them flowing. Go ahead, puke a little, I do. The area above my incisions is swollen. It actually feels like a thick rubber band runs underneath my arm pits and across my chest. My left arm has a better range of motion than my right. My right side (lympnodes were removed on the right side) is stiff and really uncomfortable. My arm pit and back of arm are numb. I’ve read this is normal. I spoke to a nurse today, I am to keep an eye on the swelling and will go in tomorrow if it increases. 

Sleeping is still a pain. I was able to sleep in our own bed last night which was nice. Having to stay on my back all night is crap. I look forward to my first night sleeping on my side, or hell- let’s get crazy here- my stomach! Then I’ll really be living. 

5 thoughts on “Surgery Follow Up Rescheduled 

  1. Jessica, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. But know that you are so brave, strong, and unbelievably awesome. I laughed when you said your stomach. I don’t know too many people that sleep on their stomach. I do….and love it. Lol
    Keep up the strength, you got this girl…. Your mom and dad are so proud of the strong, brave women that you are. Love you!! Sherry 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jessica, you have the most amazing spirit and resilience of anyone I have ever met. I too, am so sad and angry that you have been dealt this shit ass cancer. But, I have to say that your attitude , honesty and fierceness has helped me and others pay attention and listen up. Reality is, that as messed up as this is, there will be a beautiful and healthy young woman, living a cancer free life at the end of all of your suffering. YOU have fought for yourself, children and husband, for your family and friends and for all of your new found ladies that are also going through this. You are an inspiration to all of us and I can guaranty that when we all bitch and moan about our aches and pains it takes just one fleeting moment of thinking of you that we stop and say our prayers. This is your story and you will share what you want and keep private what you feel is best to hold on to. And that is ok. One day at a time my lady. I am so proud of you for fighting and never giving up. I love you so much. You are amazing 😍👍🙌🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hang in there…you’ve come so far…this is the tough one I had to face too. Same experience but only on one….you are awesome…you will be ready on your terms and no one else’s….you are ❤️ loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Know You are lifted whether prayer, good thoughts sent, etc. Just like the name of your blog, You Got This! Get it on YOUR time. It’s all about YOU. Nothing else.

    Liked by 1 person

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