I saw my surgeon this morning for a follow up. She removed my drains and for this, I am so happy! But I hadn’t put a lot of thought into this process until the drive to the appointment. The nurse described it as a ‘weird sensation.’ Well, okay…. The doc said it wouldn’t hurt, that it would feel like a worm moving under my skin. Gross. I would say they both were right and so wrong. John wanted to film it. I almost wish he had because it was one of the most freakish things to happen to my body. Ever. And I’ve had 2 kids. 

First she snipped the stitches, this pinched a little. Then the main event. With a quick pull, I could feel a tube, much longer than I imagined was shoved inside of my chest, sliding in a circular motion out of my body. Then I felt weak. Most likely from being completely grossed out. I wanted to cry and puke. Then it was on to the right side. Same shit. Barf. I can’t find the words to describe exactly how it felt or looked. Maybe that’s why the nurse just said it was weird. 

She said my swelling looked normal and that I was healing well. I asked for reassurance- this looked “normal and well??” Yikes. I also asked if it would look better later or if this was my new normal. This is my new normal. 

Onto the pathology report. There were residual tumor cells in the right breast. This means I did not have a complete response to chemo but it’s still good. And they cut those remaining cells out. So, yay! 

Radiation is next. Depending on how I heal, this will begin about 4-5 weeks after surgery and the goal is to take care of any of those residual cells. I’ll be going daily, Monday- Friday, for 5 weeks. 

My right arm is still in the T Rex stage but I was given some exercises to begin ASAP to get me stretched. Those suckers hurt but I will lift my arm above my head again one day, damn it.