Today was my follow up Radiation Oncology appointment. And I’m sure this will sound odd, but I left pumped. I’m excited. I’m so ready. 

We went over what I can expect as far as side effects: a skin burn, fatigue, a dry cough, other cancers….. umm what? Yeah, the radiation may cause other cancers down the line. Obviously, the benefits outweigh the possible risks but it’s still creepy as shit. So I’d rather not think about it or talk about it. Ok? Ok. Thanks. 

Alright, so the plan is: on May 15th, I will have the first of two prep appointments. Not sure when the second one will be yet. At these, I’ll get scanned or X-Rayed- honestly I can’t remember. Itty bitty tattoos will be marked on me so they know where to line me up in the machine each day. I was also told I’ll have to be able to put my arms above my head while on my back, so I have some serious work to do there. 

After these appointments are complete and they have all the info they need, I will begin my 5 days a week for 5 weeks rads. I’m told that the radiation itself is quick, like 10 minutes, but overall I’ll be there about an hour each day. 

So yes, I am happy that I am almost done with treatment. And it sounds like this will be the easiest part- compared to chemo and surgery. But I want everyone to remember this: while I’ll be glad that treatments will be over, I can’t simply put this all behind me. I am not the same person I was before August 23, 2016. I’ve changed for better…and for worse. I’m not sure if I’ll ever reach a day where I don’t think about C or where I won’t worry about reoccurrence. I mean, the scars will be a daily reminder them selves. This new me will just have to go forward with all I have learned. 

So be gentle.