This morning we went to breakfast as a family of three for the last time. It went by really fast. Harlon was complimented on how good of a boy he was- proud mama. We talked about names for the new kid. Still no decision. But then it was over. John mentioned how quick it felt too. Maybe we were both expecting some long drawn out sentimental moment. I’m not sure. 

The rest of the day was spent nesting. Washing things and organizing. Trying to rid myself of some of this anxiety. A girl can only take so many deep breaths before she completely blacks out 😜 

We went to dinner with John’s parents, to my favorite Chinese restaurant and I ate enough food for all of us. Hot and sour soup, cream cheese wontons, dumplings, veggies and shrimp. Seriously, I felt like I was going to be rolled out to the juicer like Violet in Willy Wonka. It was my last hurrah since I am completely changing my diet this coming week. No more treats! 

As far as tomorrow, I will be calling Kaiser at 7:30 to make sure they have room for me and we plan to check in at 8:30. I will be induced, which I’ve been told, can take a couple of days to actually get this child out. Fingers are crossed for a quick and easy labor/delivery. Painless would be nice too. Haha! The hope is to avoid a c section so that recovery time is minimal and we can start chemo as planned on the 22nd. 

And now, I try to sleep knowing very well that shit is about to get REAL. 

There is a vast space between science and spirituality. This constant struggle between the explainable and unexplained is real. This struggle could not be more true with the current situation we find ourselves. We have received a lot of advice as to how to formulate a game plan and there is valid advice from both sides. As with everything the truth lies somewhere between and it’s our job to find that balance.

Well, the other night I found that balance to say the least. It was a long day ( yes I too have 24 hour days, but the day just felt long). I was up pretty late talking with my sister when I told her goodnight and headed to bed. Jess had already went to sleep, so I got ready for bed with the lights off. As I started to jump into bed, I literally jumped into bed and my head hit the pillow. BAM!

When my head hit the pillow I noticed a sharp pain shoot threw my temple. Slightly disoriented, I began to feel up my pillow. There was something very hard on the inside. Still foggy my mind went to McQueen. MF’n McQueen. Harlon loves the movie Cars and McQueen so I figured  it was where he left him.

The object was much sharper than a toy car and when I pulled the object out I discovered that it wasn’t a car but a sharp rock! It was a pink crystal rock.  It all hit me (literally) that Jess was probably using it to heal. I am all for that type of healing, I mean the rock put me to sleep!

In the morning when I got up to leave, I asked Jess when did we start storing rocks in pillow cases. She got a good laugh out of it and I guess that’s all that matters. Laughter has been proven by science to help heal and here we are on the fulcrum of science and spirituality, finding the balance and making each other laugh (or at least making Jess laugh).

 

 

Jess so graciously invited me to share my thoughts as we embark on this journey. I am lucky enough to be married to this amazing women and am happy to stand by her as we take on this life challenge. Before we get too far ahead on this journey let’s go back to the beginning.

Jess and I meet in San Diego. At the time Jess was attending San Diego State and waitressing at Trophy’s (a local sports themed restaurant). One day my buddies and I were bored and decided to go to lunch and have a few drinks. We decided on Trophy’s, a random choice for us as we typically did not choose that establishment for our debauchery but nonetheless we ended up there. As all three of us crammed into one pie of the revolving door, Jess looked up and asked the hostess not to seat us in her section. We were fresh from the pool and I had a headband on, loud and rambunctious we asked for a table for three.

Needless to say the hostess disregarded Jessica’s request and we were sat in her section. Up walked this beautifully cute waitress in a tight black underarmour shirt and short black shorts. She owned the outfit and she owned us. I was immediately attracted to her, gorgeous face, great body, and an infectious smile. This is not the first time the girls has gotten Jess in trouble ;0

Not sure if we ate much but we did decide to play a drinking game called sugars. It’s like liars dice with sweet and low. The one loser would have to take a shot of choice of the other two winners. Jess got a kick at watching us shoot ridiculous shots but the bartender was short on patience. We were getting ready to move on when Jess said that they were slow and she was getting cut. She then asked us if we wanted to get a beer at Applebee’s. Yup, she asked us out, all three! Of course we did not turn down this cute waitress in her underarmour shirt and short black shorts.

Well as they say the rest is history… we dated for 8 years and then we got married. We have been married for 3 years last June. The proposal kicked ass and our wedding was one of the best days of my life. I will get into those later but for now I just wanted to share how we met because I feel its important insight into who this woman is and what kind of strength she possess. She is an amazing woman inside and out. I know its going to take all of that strength and then some but the reason I am so positive is because I know the fight and spunk she has and I have seen the fire. Jess has celebrated with me during the best of times and stood by me through the worst. So here we are, another obstacle in this crazy life.