6 Month Follow Up

Daaaaang, it’s been a while. THANKFULLY – because that means there hasn’t been anything to report.

I had my 6 month oncology follow up this last Thursday. As my oncologist walked in, I could see her smiling behind the mask and glasses and could hear her joyful tone as she said hello and announced ‘This is the year!’ Yes, this is the year- as August will mark 5 years since my diagnosis, a major milestone for my type of cancer!

The appointment went really well, her excitement was contagious. My physical exam proved to look and feel good, my weight has stopped fluctuating, and {for once} I didn’t have a million paranoid questions to shoot off. She ran extensive blood work and all was normal except for high cholesterol (damnit) which means I really need to start monitoring what I’m eating. Turns out tortillas and butter are not the healthiest of meals, who knew 😜

As she left the room, we snapped a pic. Afterwards, I laughed commenting on why I called out smile underneath the massive face masks and her answer was perf: “Smile behind the mask, you can see the joy in the eyes!” 😍

Scars + Celebrations

Oh, hey there. 👋 It’s been a bit… so I thought I’d pop in with a few updates.

It’s been a little over 3 weeks since my appendectomy and I’m healing quite well. It still hurts like a Mo’ Fo’ anytime I sneeze, cough, or laugh enthusiastically… as if my intestines might burst out from my incisions. And I’m still limited on exercise and lifting. But other than that, I’m feeling pretty fine.

My most recent side boob… AKA side scar pic {wink, wink}

Our weekly Yoga For Cancer Recovery class at Yoga Sol has been going really well. After each class, I find my self in tears of joy and some sadness but also so grateful to be able to co-teach class with my dear friend Jenny at such an amazing studio. My passion for yoga, healing and community shines even brighter than ever before. It’s so rad to be able to truly say ‘I love my job!’

My gal pal Jenny 💖

The Soul Seeds // Affirmation Deck Kickstarter is nearing the end- a little less than a week left- and it’s currently 95% funded!! So fucking cool! Not only is it exciting to see the hard work I’ve been putting in getting closer to fruition, the relationships and community that have been sprouting are incredible! Gratitude fills me completely 💖

The kiddos are adjusting well to their new schools and I am adjusting to the new drop off / pick up schedules along with sports, sports, sports {anyone else have that VTech kids toy?} And I’m thankful to have some rad mom friends on the side lines.

And finally, we celebrated our baby doll, Wyatt, last Saturday as he turned 3… THREE… T H R E E! Oh, my heart. MY HEART! He is a smart, funny, loving, stubborn, kick in the pants kind of kid.

“I wake each day with a grateful heart…”

T H R E E YEARS!

Today marks 3 years since I got the call confirming what I already knew… And what we all now know.

What I didn’t know at that time was- What would happen to the baby growing inside of me? What would my husband and 1 year old do if something happened to me? How would I choose to handle the news? And I definitely did not comprehend how dramatically my life and outlook on life would change.  

That call obviously shook my world and the world of my family and friends.  And I often wonder if baby Wyatt could feel it too.  But after speaking with my team of doctors, my first concern was addressed.  The baby in my belly would be perfect… and he is. Sometimes a perfect pain in the keister but still perfect.

And thankfully I am still here to witness the great father John is to our little humans. And I get to see Harlon growing up to be an amazing child. AND it turns out, I handled the diagnosis and what followed pretty OK.  Of course, I had and continue to have my shit days.  And my complete shit days.  And my “I’m never leaving my bed because life isn’t fair” shit days. But I try to keep a positive outlook as often as possible (while giving myself permission to throw the occasional pity party). And I remind myself that I get to choose if I walk around miserable and mean or if I want to choose to look at the positives and radiate joy.

This way of thinking is not for everyone, I get that.  And I have never tried to push my views on life onto anyone else.  I mean, we all get to walk our own paths.  But I remember reading a quote by another survivor right after I was diagnosed which said “Breast cancer can change you, but the change can be beautiful”.  I have tried to wholeheartedly embody that idea by looking for the beauty even when it seems to be pure shit surrounding me.

I know I don’t post very often about my story anymore.  But it’s not because I am “all better” or “over it”, but it’s because I am busy living this life I’ve been blessed with, spending my time with the people I love and who spark pure joy in my heart.  This disease has taught me what is important and what is not, where I want to focus my energy and where I can let go.  I am busy with my family, teaching yoga, supporting others who’ve been diagnosed, working on projects… all with the goal to leave the world better and more joyous than I found it and to be the light for others when the darkness tries to consume them.

Truthfully, anxiety still haunts me, as it always has.  And I’m not sure if I’ll ever get past the feeling of ‘running out of time’.  But life continues to be put into perspective and it’s nice to know we are all in this together…

So cheers to many, MANY, M A N Y more years to come!