Six Years

Six years ago I was terrified, not sure if I would live to see Harlon go into Kindergarten. Not even sure if I’d see Wyatt celebrate a birthday. It was go time from that first call and sometimes I look around and wonder if I have slowed down to catch my breath at all.

But that’s life. Or so they say. And a life is what I’m here for.

Tonight, I was explaining to the boys where we all were 6 years ago. Me and John at the dr’s, Wyatt growing in my belly, Harlon running around like a one-year-old wild man somewhere. He was somewhere… with someone… I’m sure of it. 🙈 It was all a bit of a blur, you know?

But it was kinda funny, neither of them remember a time where I was ‘sick’. They know I have scars and see pictures of me with no hair. They don’t question it, they just know it’s a part of our story. And I guess it’s good? Me… oh I know. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about some aspect of cancer. It has shaped who and where I am today. Every new ache and pain has the ability to send me into a complete downward spiral. I continue to face my mortality- especially when looking at expiration dates on my debit card or driver’s license wondering if I’ll be around to get the next one. But I also continue to find gratitude in the little things. I look at life through a lense I didn’t have access to before.

So here we are. Wyatt is starting kindergarten next week and Harlon is going into second grade. And with today being 6 years from my diagnosis, that means Wyatt’s 6th birthday is right around the corner. John and I continue to fly by the seat of our pants and maintain 5 star status as personal Uber drivers for these little humans of ours. Driving them from sport to sport and birthday party to birthday party…. So. Many. Birthday Parties….

But really… happy to be here 💜

Annual ABC’s of Gratitude- 2021 Edition

Grateful for these turkeys, for sure ❤️

A little late but still grate-ful! Yesterday got away from me and while I planned to post the annual ABC’s of gratitude on Thanksgiving as per usual, I – well, I just didn’t. Life, ehh?

Wait, what’s are the ABC’s of gratitude, you ask? It’s a spin off of a game I play with myself when I’m anxious, bored, trying to fall asleep, etc. and I first talked about it on here back when I had my breast biopsy 5 years ago. I was pregnant, scared and trying to stay calm while a big ass needle was entering my big ass boob. Silently crying, I was listing foods that began with each letter of the alphabet to cope.

I still make these lists quite often in my head, mostly at night time because insomnia is a bitch. And when it comes time to create my annual list for Thanksgiving, I love to to look back and see what’ changed, what’s similar and what is the same… fricking word. for. word. Check it: 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020

Quick reminder, these are things I am truly grateful for, no matter how big or small they may seem. And since it’s my game, I make the rules. XOXO!

A- Aging and Audiobooks

B- Birdie Watching

C- Coffee and My Chiropractor

D- Dark Humor and Doggies

E- Epsom Salt Baths

F- Family, Friends and Folk Tales (triple score)

G- Giggle Juice (Champagne) and Gary the Gecko

H- My Health and Heating Pads

I- My Incredibly Adorable Children

J- The Johnster

K- Kindness

L- Live Crystal Sales

M- The Moon

N- Neighbors Who Feel Like Fam

O- Online Ordering and Drive Up Pick Up

P- Planty Plants

Q- Quiet Time

R- Roscoe

S- Sweatpants and Spooky Shit

T- Time Outs for Mom

U- My Unicorn Hairs (Gray Hair)

V- Vaccines

W- Working From Home

X- XOXO’s

Y- YouTube Tutorials For All The Things

Z- Zit Patches and Zoloft

What’s on your list these days?

6 Month Follow Up

Daaaaang, it’s been a while. THANKFULLY – because that means there hasn’t been anything to report.

I had my 6 month oncology follow up this last Thursday. As my oncologist walked in, I could see her smiling behind the mask and glasses and could hear her joyful tone as she said hello and announced ‘This is the year!’ Yes, this is the year- as August will mark 5 years since my diagnosis, a major milestone for my type of cancer!

The appointment went really well, her excitement was contagious. My physical exam proved to look and feel good, my weight has stopped fluctuating, and {for once} I didn’t have a million paranoid questions to shoot off. She ran extensive blood work and all was normal except for high cholesterol (damnit) which means I really need to start monitoring what I’m eating. Turns out tortillas and butter are not the healthiest of meals, who knew 😜

As she left the room, we snapped a pic. Afterwards, I laughed commenting on why I called out smile underneath the massive face masks and her answer was perf: “Smile behind the mask, you can see the joy in the eyes!” 😍