I feel up my boobs. A lot. And thankfully. Near the beginning of August I was doing my usual and found a lump in my right breast. Initially, I panicked but then reminded myself that this pregnancy has been brutal and I probably just had a clogged milk duct. A couple of weeks went by until my scheduled prenatal appointment on Tuesday, August 16th and I brought it up. The midwife referred me to get breast ultrasound that Friday the 19th. That’s when shit started to go down. 

I could tell something was up. The tech took a really long time with the pics. The doctor came in the room after to take a look for himself.  They did biopsies on 2 of the 5 lumps found. One was a lymph node in my arm pit, the other towards the top of my breast. 

They mentioned how brave I was, little did they know I was playing the alphabet game in my head to calm the F down and not cry. You know, where you pick a genre- like food, and think of a food item that starts with each letter. No, you don’t know? Well it’s cool, usually helps me sleep…. Or get needles shoved in my body. 

I went through the weekend with John and little Har like we had planned.  Running errands, getting the new baby’s room started. Monday evening, we took some fantastic maternity photos at a park near our house. Then Tuesday morning, our world was rocked. I got the call that the biopsy results were cancerous and that I had a surgery consult that afternoon. I left work and met John at home, we had our private pity party and then went to the appointment at 4. 

The surgeon confirmed that it was stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. My immediate thoughts were of my boys and John. And my family. Scary shit. He recommended chemotherapy (possibly still while pregnant, I was 32 weeks at this point), then surgery, and then radiation. We asked for a second opinion, because, you know, this was some big stuff. We met with another surgeon that Thursday and she agreed with the course of treatment. That next day, Friday the 26th we met with the oncologist and she also agreed. So it was then she said we needed to consult with a high risk OB to see if I deliver first then start chemo, or start chemo, deliver, and then continue.  The waiting game.